Here is a preview of the first two scenes of my newest movie, Dear Diary...

Scene 1

Alex Smith – Louie Rinaldi
Shawn - Ethan Reith
Chip - Rowe Hessler
Dad - Stephen Striffler
Forest Patrol Officer 1 -
Forest Patrol Officer 2 -

Ext. At an entrance to a trail that leads into the woods.

A van/truck is in front of the entrance. A man is pulling the back door. He wipes off his hands and rounds to the driver’s seat of the van/truck. He opens the door and gets in. He sits in the seat. We now see him from outside the passenger window. He looks out the passenger window.

DAD
Stick to the path, Alex. It will lead you to the creek. I’ll pick you up right here tomorrow morning.

We see the van/truck from the same angle as we did before (from the driver’s side). It drives away. We see Alex, Shawn, and Chip standing still watching the car leave. They have large, bulky backpacks on and a big tent next to them. The camera spins around them as they turn to face the entrance to the trail. They stare at it. Then they pick up the tent and walk into the woods. The camera follows them from various angles as it gets darker out. As they walk they begin to sing Yellow Submarine by The Beatles. They sing it for a while.

ALEX
We should have brought our guitars!

CHIP
Great idea, Alex. Where would we plug them in?

ALEX
We’d need a very long extension cord!

They laugh at the joke and keep walking. They talk as they walk through the woods but we don’t really hear what they’re saying. They come to the end of the path and stop for a moment to think. Then they keep going into the woods making their own path. It gets much darker and the wind blows against their jackets.

SHAWN
We should be able to hear the creek. Where is it? Did we go in the right direction?

Shawn puts down his backpack and looks around. Chip takes his off as well and stretches his arms and legs.

CHIP
We’ll never find it now. It’s too dark.

Leaves blow up around them. They zipper their jackets closed.

SHAWN
Are there bears in these woods?

ALEX
No. But there are bunny rabbits that can chew you to bits!

Chip and Alex laugh. Shawn doesn’t look amused because the joke was said towards him.

SHAWN
Which way is the path?

He points somewhere behind them.

SHAWN
Is that the way we came? Maybe we should go back that way.

Suddenly a loud hooting sound makes them all jump. They look up in the direction of where it came from. An owl is sitting on the branch of a tree. It hoots again softly.

ALEX
I don’t want to go back. Let’s keep going. The creek is this way I know it.

CHIP
For once I think Shawn is right. Let’s just camp here and we’ll find our way out in the morning.

Alex looks around. The area seems pretty safe. They throw their backpacks in a pile on the ground. They begin to set up the tent. As they are setting it up Alex looks up. He looks confused. There is a snapping sound heard behind him. He looks behind him quickly. There is nothing there.

SHAWN
What’s your problem? Did you see an animal?

ALEX
Yeah. A herd of buffalo.

They continue working on the tent. The wind constantly blows it away. Eventually they finally get it. They light a fire and try to eat dinner. The wind constantly blows out the fire. They finish dinner after a while and go into the tent. Before Alex crawls in after his friends he stands up and looks behind him. He has a confused look on his face again. He walks toward the trees, staring into them intently. He stops near the woods because he notices something; little pairs of grayish circles. They look like eyes. He backs away from the woods quickly. He trips over a branch on the ground. He gets up quickly and gets into the tent. We see an angle now from inside the tent. They are all laying on their backs talking to each other. They are telling jokes and stories.

SHAWN
Okay, okay, okay. If there are six apples in a basket and you take five, how many did you take?

CHIP
Five.

ALEX
You know you said that wrong. It’s supposed to be how many apples do you have? Not take.

CHIP
I thought so, too. If there are six apples in a basket and you take five. How many apples do you have? When you say it like that people think you mean how many are left in the basket.

SHAWN
Oh I get it. So the answer to this one would be one right?

ALEX
No the answer is still five. You’re just saying the joke differently.

SHAWN
Oh.

CHIP
Forget it. It’s a lame joke anyway.

They start laughing. Then they stop suddenly when they hear a sound outside. They stay silent, listening to hear it again. Then they do. It’s howls from a wolf.

SHAWN
I…hope it’s dogs! Maybe it’s just some wild dogs.

They huddle closer together. The wolf howls keep getting closer every time they hear them. After a few more howls they hear snapping sounds outside. Then the snapping turns into footsteps coming towards the tent. Suddenly the tent flap flies open. Alex, Chip, and Shawn scream. They look at the open flap. There are two men with leather jackets. They look around inside the tent. One of them has a flashlight. He aims it into the faces of the kids.

FOREST PATROL OFFICER 1
Are you kids okay?

ALEX
Who are you?

FOREST PATROL OFFICER 2
Forest Patrol.

FOREST PATROL OFFICER 1
Yeah. Right. Forest Patrol.

They look around the tent again.

FOREST PATROL OFFICER 1
The woods really aren’t safe. Not safe at all.

The other man nods.

FOREST PATROL OFFICER 2
First thing in the morning you should get yourselves to the road. It’s right up there.

ALEX
We will. Thanks for checking on us.

The men leave without saying anything else. The kids close their eyes and try to get to sleep. The howls start again and their eyes shoot back open. We see a shot of the moon. The shot fades into a shot of the sun. The kids are packing up the tent and all of their belongings. Alex begins wrapping up the tent. He bends down to roll it up and put it in the bag. He notices something strange on the ground when he bends down. We don’t see what it is yet.

ALEX
Hey! Look!

Chip and Shawn walk over to Alex. They look on the ground where he is. Their eyes widen and they bend over to get a better look. Now we see what they are. There are shoe prints going towards the woods. As the prints near the woods they turn into wolf prints. The kids stare at them with their eyes wide open. We see the prints one more time. Then we see Alex’s awestruck face. The background behind his face turns into a school chalkboard and he is suddenly standing in the front of a classroom holding a paper in his hands.

End of Scene 1


Scene 2

Alex Smith – Louie Rinaldi
Shawn - Ethan Reith
Chip - Rowe Hessler
Tessa Wayne - Jillian Striffler
Miss Gold -
Boy 1 -
Boy 2 -
Extras -

Int. Inside a school classroom.

(Continued From Scene 1) Then we see Alex’s awestruck face. The background behind his face turns into a school chalkboard and he is suddenly standing in the front of a classroom holding a paper in his hands. He lowers the paper.

ALEX
That’s it.

No one says anything. The teacher, Miss Gold, stares at him.

MISS GOLD
Alex, is any of that true?

Alex rolls up the paper in his hands.

ALEX
No. I made it all up.

MISS GOLD
You, Chip, and Shawn never went camping?

Alex shakes his head.

ALEX
No. Never.

CHIP
He’s afraid of poison ivy!

The room erupts in laughter at Chip’s joke.

BOY 1
He’s afraid of trees!

Everyone in the room laughs harder. It begins to get quiet again.

SHAWN
He’s afraid of bugs!

No one laughs at Shawn’s joke. The room goes silent. Someone coughs. Shawn lowers himself into his seat. He looks embarrassed.

MISS GOLD
Well, that is an excellent short story. One of the best we’ve heard this week. Thanks you for sharing it with the class, Alex. Very good work.

Miss Gold starts to write in a book. The class starts clapping monotonously. Alex doesn’t move from the front of the room.

ALEX
Aren’t you going to tell me my grade?

We see behind Alex’s back. His fingers are crossed very tightly.

MISS GOLD
Oh right. I’ll give you a B-plus.

Alex’s fingers become uncrossed. He looks surprised.

ALEX
Huh? Not an A?

MISS GOLD
B-plus.

ALEX
But—why?

MISS GOLD
Well…you did very well with the plot. But I think you need to work on describing your characters better. We really don’t know what Chip and Shawn look like…do we?

Alex motions his hands towards Chip and Shawn.

ALEX
But they’re sitting right there! You know what they look like!

BOY 2
Real ugly!

The class once again starts laughing. Alex looks around at them. He doesn’t seem amused at all.

MISS GOLD
You need to describe them in the story. And we don’t know what’s different about them. You didn’t give them real personalities.

ALEX
But—!

MISS GOLD
And I think you need more description of the woods. More detail. You know, Alex, the more little details you add to a story, the more real it becomes.

A girl’s hand shoots up in front of the camera. It is Tessa Wayne’s hand. Without the teacher calling on her she begins to talk.

TESSA
There’s something I don’t understand. If the two men were wolves, where did they get the leather jackets?

ALEX
They—!

TESSA
I mean, they were completely dressed, right?

ALEX
Yes, but—!

TESSA
But they’re wolves?

ALEX
Right, except—!

TESSA
And how did they get the flashlights?

MISS GOLD
Good questions, Tessa.

Alex sighs. His arms hang limply at his sides.

ALEX
The men were werewolves. Not regular wolves.

Miss Gold looks at her watch.

MISS GOLD
Well, the bell is about to ring. I just had an idea. You did such a good job with the diary format. I mean, writing your story as a diary entry was very clever.

ALEX
Thanks.

Alex doesn’t seem glad about Miss Gold’s statement.

MISS GOLD
You should keep a real diary, Alex. Write in it every day. You can hand it in at the end of the year for extra credit.

ALEX
Really? Okay. Thanks!

Alex is happier about the extra credit assignment.

He sits in his seat in the front row. He turns to Chip and Shawn and begins whispering something to them. He pulls out a dollar. Chip and Shawn pull out dollars as well. As they are doing this we see Tessa raise her hand behind them. She talks while they whisper to each other.

TESSA
Miss Gold, I want to start a diary too. Can I do a diary for extra credit?

MISS GOLD
Yes. Anyone in class can keep a diary. Very good idea.

The bell rings. Everyone gets up and puts their books together. They leave the room once they are ready to leave. Alex is trying to stuff things into his backpack quickly. Someone taps him on the back. He turns around to see Tessa behind him. She holds out her open hand in front of Alex.

TESSA
Pay up, Alex.

ALEX
Excuse me?

TESSA
Pay up. You bet me five dollars you’d get an A on that story. You lost.

ALEX
A B–plus is almost an A.

TESSA
Pay up!

Alex reaches into his pocket. He pulls out three dollars.

ALEX
But…I only have three dollars.

TESSA
Then why did you bet me? You know you never win a bet against me. You always lose.

Alex looks around the room thinking. He spots Chip and Shawn making their way to the door.

ALEX
Wait a sec.

Alex runs over to the door and blocks their way.

ALEX
Pay up.

Chip and Shawn groan. They pull out one dollar each and shove it into Alex’s hand. He lets them go and walks back over to Tessa.

ALEX
Okay, I’ve got the five.

Alex hands her the five dollars. Tessa takes it and puts it into her pocket.

TESSA
What was that about?

ALEX
After Miss Gold told me about the extra credit, I bet them each a dollar that you’d want to write in a diary too.

Tessa looks embarrassed.

TESSA
Big deal. So you won two bucks from your friends. But you’re such a loser, Alex. Now you’re totally broke—right?

Alex reaches into his pockets and pulls them inside-out. They are completely empty.

ALEX
Yeah. I’m broke.

Tessa grins.

TESSA
I love making bets with you.

She begins counting the dollar bills one by one in front of Alex’s face.

TESSA
It’s like taking candy from a baby.

Tessa begins to leave. Alex picks up his backpack. Suddenly he looks excited.

ALEX
Wait a minute—!

Tessa stops at the door.

ALEX
I want to make one more bet with you. A really big bet.

End of Scene 2


So what do you think so far? I have seven scenes done. I'm continuing writing them as we speak.

I don't think it's that bad at all. Keep it up.

Two things though...

1) I didn't care much for the guitar joke at first. I will re-read it again though and see if it fits better.

2) I was under the impression that right after the teacher said Alex could keep a diary Tessa raised her hand. If that is the case when did he have time to bet Chip and Shawn?