I recently started talking to my old ex (the one that I actually loved with all my blurdy heart) over email.
It's great, I'm okay with her having a bf for a year and stuff like that. I'm happy for her.

This girl was really the catalyst in my transformation though. Once I had time to calm down and think about our situation together, I realized that I had essentially done everything wrong in that relationship. I was a dick to her friends and had this superiority complex. I was also the rebellious kid in highschool and got into quite a lot of trouble in Twelth Grade. I was a dick, what more can I saw.

Anywho, I'm essentially a perfect being now (...wait, maybe that complex didn't entirely stay... lol).

I want so bad to tell her what a positive influence she was one me and all that jazz. That I still love her (notice I didn't say IN LOVE with her... though I'd bett'cha that a lot of me still is).

I just have no way to do that. She was my best friend for so long. If I told her that she'd no doubt feel terribly uncomfortable, and I'd loose another 2 years from her, but... probably more.


I've written like, 7 scripts today trying to convey what I feel she should know... each draft getting heavily diluted. Narratives, really.

I think for tonight though, I'm gonna' stick with sending her nothing. I know it's probably best to play it cool and wait and see if we ever become friends again... then tell her.


Like I said, I'm freakin' happy she's doing so good. Her boring and cliche' art was in a gallery earlier this year, and her bf is apparantly a "...very nice guy. really he is. really."
As if she had to enforce to me that he was, lol... it's kinda' funny. It's funny that she really truly doesn't know that I don't care... as long as I don't know the guy and such. I mean, I can just believe her, eh.



Anywho... if anyone could comfort me before New Years alcohal is consumed, that'd be super!


Oh, and Merry Christmas, for those of you who celebrate it!

Well, at least you didn't knock her up. Lucky bastard.

-Elliott

Hey, Ademu man, that happens to the best of us. It's very common. I was in a similar situation for a while, but everything eventually worked out. And you'll find someone else that you will totally fall in love with in college.

Feel better man. Merry Christmas!

Maybe theres something bigger and better in store for you that would be hindered by having a relationship with this girl. Maybe this is all working together for your good. Just a thought.

I swear, if I could have any superpower it would be able to go back in time. Then situations like this would never, ever happen.

^^^I've said that so many times! That or better social skills!
I know... social skills aren't much of a super power though.
And it's not like mine are of poor quality at all... just... on can always improve.

quote:

---

Well, at least you didn't knock her up. Lucky bastard.

---

Yeah, but sometimes I used to wonder what would have happend, had that happend. Atleast it would have kept her around long enough so I could brag about banging a "yummy mommy".
Other reasons aswell...

It's not friend, a pregnant ex or current girlfriend who's on the rocks. I understand the yummy mommy, but when she doesn't want to bang you becuase you two are fighting or whatever, it's painful. I'm speaking from experience here.

-Elliott

Note to self: Become unick.


I need to get that tattooed then, it seems. lol