In my senior project video, Blood Drive '05, the person you see in the opening shot (and in Chris's frame grabs for the video) is none other than my 18-year-old best friend, Brendan Kissane. Brendan has been a great pal and close family friend to me for as long as I've lived in Storrs, CT, not to mention he helped me out substantially with my video. Anyway, you'll notice that because of my own artistic decision, you do not see his face in the opening shot. Today, that artistic decision has become darkly ironic...because Brendan has become just another faceless drunk driving fatality.

This is a great personal tragedy to me and everyone who knew Brendan...he was a great kid. He was a fairly reckless kid, obviously (another dark irony of Brendan's appearance in the video is his drinking shirt, which you can see if you look closely), but he was one of the most intelligent, grounded, yet fun-loving and jubilant people I had ever known. But his death by drunk driving isn't nearly the most heartbreaking aspect of this tragedy...he comes from a very tight-knit Catholic family of 12, 3 of whom are currently serving combat duty in Afghanistan. On top of this, as well as their constant financial and personal struggles, they now have a death in the family on their hands. Brendan badly wanted to go to Afghanistan himself with his older brothers, but couldn't, because of a lifelong hearing problem. This was a terrible disappointment for him, because he had said he was completley willing to give his life to serve that cause...I just wish to God he didn't have to give his life up to drunk driving instead.

I beg all of you to take this as yet another example of why you should NEVER drink and drive, or let anyone you know drink and drive, if you can help it. While it's true that Brendan had his "Irish pride" and wouldn't listen to anyone trying to talk him out of his reckless ways, I can't help but feel that maybe something could have been done. So if you're at a party and the issue of drunk driving comes up, make sure you don't just shrug it off in a feel-good stupor...DO SOMETHING. Because the consequences of drunk driving extend farther than you may think you know.

Sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers ....

That's terrible. I won't say I know how you feel, because I can't possibly imagine. May he rest in peace.

Wow. Very sorry to hear this, he sounded like a great person. Stay strong, and may he RIP.

Heavy stuff - condolences. Hopefully no one else was injured or killed as a result of his poor decision making skills.

Thanks, you guys, for your support in this difficult time...it's just such a weird thing, you know? I mean, I was on the phone with him the night he died, arranging movie plans...and just a couple days ago, he was outlining his entire life plan to me. He said he wanted to go to a community college, then transfer to UConn, so he could hopefully be a teacher. He also said he wanted to go to a specialized school to be an auto mechanic at some point...but we both agreed he had the rest of his life to do that. Heh.

I'm not gonna lie, losing your best friend that you've known since elementary school is tough stuff...but I think I can deal with it. Hopefully it will never happen to any of you guys.

wow...I can't even imagine how terrible this must feel. I'm not even really sure what to say. Sorry this has happened, I'll be sure to keep you and your friend's family in my prayers.

My condolences. You sound like you have a good perspective on dealing with this but make sure you contact a counselor of some sort to talk to.

I lost a buddy to suicide a few years back and I was amazed how little it affected me at first but I soon realized my initial reaction was shock and it eventually caught up to me in a couple of very weird ways.

Well, here's one way I've been dealing with the loss...I just put up a memorial video page for Brendan. Anyone who wants to check it out is welcome to...hopefully you guys will get a sense of what a unique and great kid Brendan is.

http://www.putfile.com/sonicboom989

P.S. One of the files is raw footage featuring Brendan of my blood drive video...just f.y.i...

This shows that no matter how much we plan, our plans can instantly be shattered in the blink of an eye.
My prayers are for you Dan and your friends family. Let them know I honor their courage to fight on.

I'd like to add to this thread with this link:
http://wjz.com/topstories/local_story_048231711.html

This happened last night right outside my high school during a dance I was attending. Two girls and a guy were coming to the dance and swerved off the road into a tree, and, surprise, it was because of alcohol use. Michele Iampieri died. She was a senior.

I knew those two girls. They were inseperable friends. Always holding hands in the hallways; you never saw one without the other.

Nothing good comes from alcohol.

i guess being cool comes at a heavy price

That's really horrific - you assume this stuff doesn't really happen until you hear about it first hand - and while I don't know you personally it's jarring.

I hate to draw this back to student films - but it's important. This is why we make movies. You make it personal, and intimate, in a way that no other literature can. I can't know how you're handling this emotionally, but it's noble of you to share a lesson learnt, as hard as it may be, and I hope we can use our medium as you are using this forum.

Stay strong.

where's Quito when we need him?

Brendan Kissane was my cousin, very close in age to me, and this came as a major shock to my family when it happened. He was a really great guy with a fine future ahead of him.

wow. i'm very sorry for both your losses. Just a few weeks ago a junior in my school passed away (though not from any drinking related things) and even though i didn't know him really well, my best friend was really really close to him. It's things like this that really make you rethink your priorities and teach you to "live life to the fullest while you can" (despite how cliche that may be).

HORACE, ODE 1.11
A poem written in latin by Quintus Horatius Flaccus. A Roman scholar, and a leading Roman lyric poet during the time of Augustus (September 23, 63 BC–August 19, AD 14).

THE POEM
Tu ne quaesieris, scire nefas, quem mihi, quem tibi
finem di dederint, Leuconoe, nec Babylonios
temptaris numeros. ut melius, quicquid erit, pati,
seu pluris hiemes seu tribuit Iuppiter ultimam,
quae nunc oppositis debilitat pumicibus mare
Tyrrhenum: sapias, uina liques, et spatio breui
spem longam reseces. dum loquimur, fugerit inuida
aetas: carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.

TRANSLATION 1
I pray you not, Leuconoe, to pore
With unpermitted eyes on what may be
Appointed by the gods for you and me,
Nor on Chaldean figures any more.
'T were infinitely better to implore
The present only: -- whether Jove decree
More winters yet to come, or whether he
Make even this, whose hard, wave-eaten shore
Shatters the Tuscan seas to-day, the last --
Be wise withal, and rack your wine, nor fill
Your bosom with large hopes; for while I sing,
The envious close of time is narrowing; --
So seize the day, -- or ever it be past, --
And let the morrow come for what it will.

TRANSLATION 2
Don't ask, Leuconoe! What business have you and/or I to know
When death comes from the gods? Neither consult soothsayers and the like!
So much better to take whatever comes, whether this winter is
One of many that Jove's given us, or whether we're seeing for
One more time how the sea batters the cliffs, how they are tumbling down.
Let's be wise above all, get out the wine, and never make big plans!
Let small hopes be enough! While we two speak, time, reckless time, flies by.
So seize this very day, and never count on what the future holds.

SUMMARY

Come what may! Don’t drink, or you may miss something. Don’t make big plans because they may not come to pass! Stop reading this! Time is flying by while you do! Seize the day and let tomorrow worry about itself!