Does anyone know any places that'll give loans or anything of the sort (besides scholarships and joining the military) to people with bad. no credit, who don't own homes? I'm pretty desperate.

http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/ is your best bet for your situation. Also look into parent plus loans:
http://www.parentplusloan.com/

or stafford loans:
http://www.staffordloan.com/

I dont know the details on those but I know they are good ones to choose. But in all reality any good school you wish to attend will walk you through all your financial needs step by step. It is important to use the resources they have available to you. More than likely they will give you these 3 forms first.

Yes, I know, I couldnt go to college last year and I cant go this year, my parents cannot get the PLUS loan or any loan at all.

Ah, well I guess it is a question of if you are a dependant of your parents or not. If so you have to file under their name and taxes. If not you can apply under your own financial status and more than likely you will get some money. But perhaps you knew that too....what have you done so far?

I've tried everything. I didn't get into NYU last year because I couldn't pay for it. Basically my parents have bad credit and NO assets.

one of the best sources for free money is www.fastaid.com and spending a half hour there is like spending a week searching at the library

once your inbox is set up, they will send you all kinds of awards you qualify for - it takes a little while to do and asks some pretty obscure questions, but that's because some scholarships have some equally obscure criteria

i had a student who once found a $5,000 scholarship purely for students with amateur radio operator licenses, regardless of major!

I'll have to take a look into some of these as well. My parents really have no idea how they're going to pay for my BU education, and are telling me right now that i have to go through in three years.