I know, sorry about the double post. It was meant to go in this topic. Sorry administrator people...

I had to upload this in PIECE OF CRAP quality. It's actually filmed with a Canon GL1, so please just try to bare with the pixelated garbage. Oh, and the end is important when you see him holding the Ticket. Ask me about it later, telling it would give stuff away.

Thanks a million. By the way, this is my NYU submission. I went full on with the narrative story thing. So, few effects, all story.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.indiv...l&videoID=1403274346

Tyler

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.indiv...l&videoid=1406009121

there's the correct link for BETTER QUALITY verson

This message has been edited. Last edited by: tomorrowsNIGHT,

I liked it, though during the cop's speech I started thinking "where's the drama?"

nice ending though.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kurt Wagner,

I'm not sure I know what you mean by "where's the drama."

If your asking about the somewhat empty feeling in the beginning, well, the function of a twist is to make whole that which was missing in the beginning. If you watch it a second time, knowing the end, I think it is actually more dramatic. I don't know, thank you so much for your input.

Think it'll get me into NYU?? I have a 4.8 GPA, and a 1340 old scale SAT, and some good letters of rec and a good EC list.

I'm obsessive, I know.

Tyler

I think it was the whole speech, especially when the cop begins to talk about the grandmother. It just triggered a "who the heck cares" thought... it's half way into the film and no drama? Still a cop talking? I'm not saying this in a good or bad way... I liked the film overall. It just seemed a little slow with the speech, until the ending of course which explains everything. good job though. I liked the camera shot in the end with the cop driving off... nice touch.

Cool cool. Thanks

Any others? Please?

Tyler

You have talent. It's not often that a high school film can have so many good things said about it. Well crafted in every way, nice cinematography, good sound design (I heard a tad of reverb in the dubbed lines, but honestly, it doesn't matter,) good editing. A simple, but clever and well-told story. Near the beginning of the cop's speech, I did get that "oh dear... here we go" feeling that proceeds long and random speeches in movies, but the short nature of the piece helped propel it along fast enough that I didn't lose interest. All in all, it was quite excellent. The mood was spot on.

Awesome!

Okay people, it says it has 59 views, but only 2 comments. Please give me some feedback!

Thanks!
Tyler

Better quality verson now online! Any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.indiv...l&videoid=1406009121

This message has been edited. Last edited by: tomorrowsNIGHT,

Sigh...

I liked it.
You have eye for film.You can tell that by the way you place your camera, camera moves, over the shoulder shots ,the editing etc. I think tisch can see that also.
I thought the story was ok but your´re more of a director than a writer. Thats ok because we dont have many writer/director out there.
Cheers, good lucky.

Thanks! Any more?

Tyler

Very well done. The production value was way above that of an average high school film, and that's awesome. You clearly put a lot of effort into this film. The camera movements were fantastic, as was framing. The desaturated colors gave it a very filmy feel, which I liked. The story started out kind of weak, but progressively got better, and ended very nicely. Overall terrific job. I would feel confident about Tisch.

Pretentious, somewhat melodramatic, and overtalkative. It has some nice images, and the sound is excellent. The message it sends is expressed well, and the score is serene. Overall 6 outta 10. I don't know if you'll get in to Tisch, but you'll be seriously considered.

It's pretty good for a high school film- they will deffinatley see that you have potential. But on a college level, there were a lot of things wrong with it. The story line was kind of dull (i.e- no drama). I also didn't really see any conflict in your writing. My attention went elswhere during the cops korny speach- but the ending sumed it up nicely. You have to remember: the point of film making is too make people feel things they ordinarily wouldn't. And with this short, I deffinatley felt something (not sure what yet)- but it was there. Tisch? I don't know. Might not be the school for you any way. Tisch is looking for drama and concept. Your's didn't really have either. Good luck on your seach- you should do fine.

I could only watch the first minute or so...

It's very didactic and the pacing is sluggish. The opening credits are way, way too long. Couldn't you get the same idea across in a more concise manner?

Definitley very well on the technical side and extremely mature; can't say I really enjoyed the story, though, to be honest. I know Tisch supposedly weighs the story the most but the story definitely wasn't bad and you did have a twist, which shows ability. It is certainly above average but won't get you in alone; thus, if you have a good essay and a good resume (along with the academics), you should have a pretty good chance of getting in (especially if you applied ED).

I really wanted to apply ED, but for some stupid reason my college advisor thought ED wasn't a good decision and limited me on scholarships if I got in RD, but whatever. I did RD.

I don't know guys, I definetely see where you all are coming from, and I thank you all so much for the input, but to my story's defense, let me just say what I intended to do in the film.

Well, obviously there is no story until you realize the end. Once you figure out what's been going on, I think it's full of story. It's a story about a father and a son, a snapshot of a teenagers adolescence and his relationship with his father. Of course, you don't know that until the end.

In addition, the pace and slowness of it was intentional. I tried to incorporate my Southern background into the piece. The setting, the slowness of the country, the way the cop talked. I know its slow, and it was very different from things I've done in the past, but not all movies have people running to rock music...

I also am confused on how some people say its a melodrama and others say it has zero drama. Huge difference, just wondering...

Anyway, I do strongly appreciate all the comments. Anymore would be greatly, greatly appreciated.

Tyler

quote:

In addition, the pace and slowness of it was intentional. I tried to incorporate my Southern background into the piece. The setting, the slowness of the country, the way the cop talked. I know its slow, and it was very different from things I've done in the past, but not all movies have people running to rock music...

As a tip for future reference, it's often better to show characters or visual cues that the pace of the atmosphere is slow, rather then pacing the editing of the movie itself as slow. For instance, the classic way to show a laid back, country setting would be an old man in a rocking chair literally "spittin' and chewin'". Or a water spicket with only a few drops of water slowly coming out of it. You want to portray the image of a slow pace, but you don't want to bore your audience either.

quote:

not all movies have people running to rock music...

Hm, trust me, I don't care for that sort of thing at all. But just because you may use longer takes doesn't mean they should be regular scenes, only with more time spent on each angle - that's boring. If you have a longer take there needs to be a clear reason, preferably visual. Something to hold the viewer's interest in the frame.