OK, as one studentfilms member suggested, I've got rid of camera movements and re-written the script with dialogs and a few actions only.
I'd appreciate everything you could say about this short script. I'm going to get into filmmaking with this one, and I can imagine the whole process in theory only. I have zero budget so I've tried to write something to fit it.
Please comment.
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THE DAWN OF THE REVIVAL



Wastelands; Calm music plays on the background; random rusted and faded junk half-buried in ground here and there; two guys appear in a shot; one is sleeping, another prepares frying egg on a frying pan; after a while he turns to his mate

RAY: Hey, wake up!

After a pause

RAY: Dude, c'mon, wake up!

Ray shakes his mate with no result; he sighs, looks up and then gently holds his mate's nose; after a second guy's snoring quits, after another few he rapidly sits up; Ray starts laughing

STEVE: What a nightmare! I dreamed I was being strangled by a Chinese man!


RAY: /keeps laughing/ By whom?!


STEVE: Don't look at me like that, I have no idea


RAY: Don’t worry, bud. We’re not gonna run into any Chinese folks today


STEVE: We won't run into anybody today!


RAY: Well, anyway, - breakfast is served, sir

Steve frows off his blanket, moves towards the fire; he looks at the pan with half-closed eyes, then opens them wide

STEVE: Wow! Great hunt buddy!

RAY: /puts the egg to a plate/ Chinese buffet!

Ray handles plate to Steve, holds the plate in the straightened hand; Steve is searching for a knife in his sack, takes out, tries to open it for a few seconds; Ray smilies with a sarcastic grin; Steve is still trying to open the knife, then glances at Ray, realizes he didn't take the plate;

STEVE: Oh, my bad

Steve puts his knife aside, takes a box, puts it behind himself, then turns still and looks around searching for the knife again; Ray sighs, puts the plate on the newly discovered 'table' and waves his hand at Steve, then takes frying pan, places it on the same box and starts eating; Steve finally finds and opens the knife

STEVE: Yeah, Thank's mate!

RAY: Enjoy

They both eat for a while; sound of wind increases on the backgrounds; Steve looks at the sky

RAY: The storm is coming

STEVE: Obviously

RAY: We better find shelter before it gets worse

STEVE: Have you seen it before?

RAY: Uh-Huh. More than once /sounds not too excited/

STEVE: I’d like to! /sounds thrilled, looks at the clouds/

RAY: From a screen I guess

STEVE: You had that stuff in your place? /puzzled looks at Ray/

RAY: Yeah, there was one TV /cut to him MCU; Ray smiles, stops eating/ Ben, that crazy blacksmith...


STEVE: /smiles too/ What? /continues chewing/


RAY: He had that trash in his backyard for years. Tried over and over to tune it to catch the broadcast. We've told him hunderts of times it was useless, that all stations were gone for years, but OK, whatever, his stuff, his time. Then one day he goes on his ordinary route to the trading post and returns happy as a teenaged girl with yet another piece of junk he calls 'video recorder'. Said he had to barter all his goods for it. Then he plugged the devise to his TV and when it naturally didn't start working he started raging and guess what? Smashed the screen with his biggest hammer /starts giggling/ The damn thing exploaded and sent him to the hospital for a week /smiles, shakes head and goes back to his food/

STEVE: Weird things happen! That pre-war stuff is tremendous, when you know how to use it. Can't wait to get to Reno!

RAY: Me too. If that dude ain't a myth..!

STEVE: /pause/ Then what?

RAY: Well, everything in his book sounds damn reasonable. I’d like to have a chat with about some things


Steve looks at the cover of the book held in his straightened hand

STEVE: /reads word-by-word/ T. Moore, 'The Dawn Of The Revival' /puts back the book/ And what does he tell to do?

RAY: He's not the one who tells somebody what to do. Like when constructing a building. There are workers who turn someone's idea into reality, there is an architect who envisions that idea. And there is the one who makes it all happen. Who has a vision of the building's place in a larger system. Same with society.

/pause/

STEVE: Wait... Wait a second, if he has a vision of the city while working on the building...then creating society he has to be even beyond that level? /pause, then waves his hand/ Ah! Never mind, that's too much for my head in the morning. I can live happily without your ultra-polished perfect society

RAY: /sarcastic/ Oh, I've never had a doubt

STEVE: They lived quite decently

RAY: And destroyed themselves quite easily

STEVE: You can't know for sure what happened. I mean, how could a culture with such beautiful things be as bad as all that?

RAY: Things like what?

STEVE: I'll show you /starts searching through his belongings/ Turn on the generator


/pause/

RAY: Oh, no, NOT again! We'll waste all our fuel on your stupid plates!

STEVE: /takes out a vinyl/ That's what wastelands are for /smiles/


Ray hesitates, then finally turns on the generator; the sound of engine is heard

RAY: I bet the damned thing makes more noice than your jukebox

STEVE: Yeah, except it doesn't /smiles, presses the 'play' button/

RAY: And here we go again...

STEVE: Shhh! Just listen


The scratchy sound of needle on vinyl is heard in a left speaker, then turns into a slow jazz tune with a lyrical female voice; Steve lays down on the box and start staring at the sky with a smile; Cut to full shot of the vinyl player; The sound of the tune going into both speakers; cut to following shot of the wind-blown tumbling newspaper; cut to decayed kitchen-related stuff out of context in a desert setting; cut to other misplaced junk as song continues;
Ray thoughtfully looks at the vinyl player; the song is over, the rising howling sound of a wind is heard; Steve takes a look at the sky above him, then gets up, looks left

STEVE: It's closer now

Ray straightens his head, looks at Steve, then in direction of a horizon

RAY: Yeah, we better go now. Come on, let's pack all this stuff

Mates start packing their not-so-many belongings

STEVE: I've seen a bridge further in the West. If we go we'll digress from the way

RAY: I know. I would still prefer to cover few miles more before the storm catches up with us

STEVE: I was hoping you'd say that


They finish packing and stand; they stay still for a while

STEVE: /little excited/ So? Let's Go

RAY: /after a pause/ With a hope for revival!


After a pause puts his hand on Steve's shoulder, looks at him, smiles, then takes hand off and both start going camera-slight-right.
Pan left, tilt up to the upcoming dusk clouds from left; fade out; roll titles