I adapted a short story into a 19 page screenplay for a class of mine. I haven't really revised it yet so bare with me. Leave any suggestions or comments if you'd like.
Thanks
Howling Johnny
Adapted from the short story “The Hoaxer” By Walter Kirn
INT. HOUSE-NIGHT
We fade in from black to a young boy sound asleep with moonlight on his face and the sound of yelling and screaming from his parents fighting in the background. Cut to
Shadows of parents on nearby wall as the two argue.
MOTHER (Very angrily) Did you even remember what day it was today?
FATHER Honey please calm down.
MOTHER No! You don’t even appreciate me anymore. I should just take Travis and go to my parents’ house in Florida.
SOUND FX Door slams
We cut back to Travis in his bed and hold. There is complete silence except for the sound of Travis breathing and then. Travis wakes up with a little startle and turns on bedside lamp. His father knocks on door and peaks his head in.
FATHER Travis? Oh, you’re awake.
TRAVIS Come in dad.
FATHER Sorry if we woke you Travis. I know you have school tomorrow but it’s time I show you something downstairs.
TRAVIS Okay Dad, I’ll be down in a minute.
We are in the basement of the house now and Travis’ father is sitting at a drafting table with a cigarette in one hand and his face in the other. As soon as Travis enters his father sits up alert and puts out the half smoked cigarette.
FATHER Lookee here son.
Travis’ father opens up a photo album with old newspaper clippings. He starts to read them.
FATHER (In an anchorman baritone voice) Ogden Boy Scouts report strange lights.
He points to another clipping
FATHER (In same baritone voice) Grizzly on the Vegas Strip?
He looks at Travis with a large grin on his face.
FATHER Well, what do you think?
TRAVIS That second one is obviously a prank. There aren’t any grizzly bears in Nevada.
FATHER Correct. Let me show you something else.
Travis’ father starts looking through more stuff like he is lost.
TRAVIS Was it you who did those things dad?
Travis’ father, looking proud of his son, puts his hand on Travis’ shoulder.
FATHER It’s a hobby, Travis. It started back in engineering school, me and some buddies goofing around. But we are not the only ones, you know? There are a lot of us: mostly professional, intelligent men.
TRAVIS Do you guys ever meet up? Is this like a club?
FATHER It’s like a club, yes, but instead of meeting up, we’d rather pick up a newspaper and read about each other’s works. Kind of like sending smoke signals.
TRAVIS I see.
FATHER Now I want to show you something else, Travis. It’s something I have in the making for the both of us to do. But you can’t say a thing about this to your mother. Please, Travis. She just can’t know.
TRAVIS Okay, I promise.
FATHER Good.
EXT. OPEN FIELD-NIGHT
We see a dark colored Ford 4X4 truck cruising along a dirt road surrounded by fields. Cut to
INT. TRUCK
The clock shows 3:48 AM as Travis’ father is hunched over, looking out the windshield with a fixed gaze and driving with one finger. Travis is quiet and anxious and carries a little smile on his face.
FATHER (Pointing) Travis reach down under the seat there and grab that thermos and pour me a cup.
Travis pours a cup of the steaming hot liquid and hands it to his father. The steam immediately fogs up the father’s glasses. The camera holds on the glasses from Travis’ POV while his father wipes of the glasses like it’s normal. Cut to
Flashback of Travis seeing his father’s glasses on the table and trying them on. The glasses are brought up to the camera from Travis’ POV and they are easily distinguishable as fake. Cut back to Travis looking at his father a little angrily because of the glasses.
FATHER Here is how you are going to help me.
He holds out his cup for more.
FATHER I’ll walk the field and make the circle while you sit in the truck and stand guard. You can turn on the radio but keep it low. Sound travels carries out here
TRAVIS Guard duty? You’re making me do guard duty? Nobody’s going to come out here. It’s not even four o’clock yet.
FATHER You don’t know farmers’ hours. Ever wonder why it’s country people who see all the UFOs? They are up so early. Still half dreaming when they do their chores.
EXT. FIELD-NIGHT
The two reach their destination and Travis’ father parks the truck behind a clump of sumac. They both get out of the truck and carry the tools out into the field. Travis’ father says nothing about Travis coming along instead of doing guard duty.
Travis holds a stake in the ground as his father knocks down a circle in the cornstalks. As his father does this, Travis keeps his eye on him but also looks disappointed in his father for doing something wrong. Cut to
INT. HOUSE—DAY
Travis walks into the kitchen for breakfast and sits at the table. His father slides the local newspaper to him with a grin on his face. Before Travis can read the paper his father makes an announcement.
FATHER We’re moving to Illinois. Rockford, Illinois.
Travis’ mom gets up from the table and storms off without saying anything to her son or husband. Cut to
Travis’ mom walks into her room and starts to pack a suitcase.
MOTHER (Talking to self) Of course, we were only in Fruitport for two months before here. Why should I even care anymore?
We are back in the kitchen now and Travis gets a look at the newspaper. We get a shot of the article and it reads: Circles Of Mystery Found At Maynard Farm. Travis sets the paper down and looks at his father.
FATHER So you up for Illinois?
TRAVIS Don’t know.
As Travis’ dad looks back at his Popular Mechanics magazine Travis smiles big and pumps his fist with joy. Travis’ father looks back up.
FATHER Before you go pack your stuff I want to tell you something.
He sets the magazine down.
FATHER Travis, a man is just a human being.
TRAVIS I know.
FATHER I know you know; just listen. It’s your mother who thinks differently. She thinks I control the universe. And I made her think that. I built myself up big. I made her believe I had powers. Women demand it. Then they punish you when they learn the truth.
TRAVIS I’m sorry.
FATHER (Getting up from the table) You ought to be. (Knocks on table twice) You’re next
Travis sits in his chair looking at were his father was just sitting. Travis has a mixed look on his face like he is angry and he just got insulted.
INT. NEW HOUSE—DAY
All we see is an empty room with the front door in the middle of the screen. A few seconds later Travis’ dad opens the door with a box under his arm. Travis and his mom follow Travis’ dad with boxes in their arms too. Travis looks happily at his new house but his mother shows no emotion.
INT. NEW HOUSE-NIGHT
Travis is slumped on the couch staring blankly at the TV. He decides to get up and check the fridge for some food but as he passes the door to the basement his father sticks his head out.
FATHER (Whispering) Pssst. Travis. Come here, quick. Travis follows his father into the basement and we see boxes still packed up, a bunch of old looking tools, an ashtray full of cigarette butts, and a pile of empty frozen dinner plates.
FATHER (Pointing to each thing.) Look at this Travis. A set of medieval tools, an Aztec pictograph dictionary, and some marble from the Roman age. Whaddya think?
TRAVIS You did all this?
FATHER You’re old man is good huh?
TRAVIS Dad, people will be able to carbon-date these things; they’ll know they are phony.
FATHER Pish posh. This notion that things have determinable ages is baloney Travis. It’s science's big lie. The only way to date a thing is to date a more familiar thing that’s near it, and the only way to date that thing, of course—
TRAVIS May I go upstairs now, Dad, and watch TV?
FATHER There’s nothing on.
TRAVIS There is, though. There’s a lot on.
Travis’ father just looks at his son and then turns back to his creations and stares.
FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN to EXT. UNPOPULATED PARK-DAY
It is fall now. The leaves are turning colors and falling off the trees. We see a young high school girl, KARLA, holding a lighter to a small pipe and smoking it. She passes the pipe off screen, exhales, and starts to talk.
KARLA (In a sort of choked up voice) If you consider, like, all the stars that are out there, and how each star has planets circling it, there has to be some other form of life out there. You know?
We hold on a shot of another girl who has just exhaled smoke from the same pipe as Karla. This girl is JAN.
JAN (Choked up voice) Yeah. It has to be true. Like all the flying saucers being spotted proves it.
Now we see that Travis is with these girls. Travis has his hair grown out a little longer than the last time we saw him.
TRAVIS Flying saucers… are usually just that: plates thrown in the air.
KARLA So you think humans are the only life form in all the universe?
JAN That’s an arrogant view, Travis.
TRAVIS I’m saying there aren’t UFOs. There might be other life forms. Moss or something.
KARLA What about Bigfoot? I mean, do you think everyone just lies?
TRAVIS People make things up. I can’t believe you don’t know that, Karla.
JAN Lay off my friend.
TRAVIS I’m sorry
JAN You’re such a cynic, Travis. God.
KARLA Yeah Travis. Maybe you should just take your cynicism somewhere else.
Travis sits on the park table as Karla and Jan leave. Hold camera on Travis.
Fade to
INT. HOUSE-DAY
We see a large cooked turkey being pulled out of an oven. We follow the turkey all the way to its destination on the kitchen table. While following the turkey we see Christmas decorations on the walls of this house but we do not see the people’s faces.
VOICE Dinner is served. Merry Christmas everyone.
Cut to
EXT. STREET-DAY
The trees are bare and there is a lot of snow covering the ground. Travis is standing on the sidewalk looking into the front window of the house we were just in. He starts to walk towards his own home.
INT. TRAVIS’ HOUSE-DAY
Travis walks into his house a little quietly. As he gets halfway into the house he pauses and the camera drops down through the floor and into the basement. A burlap sack about the size of a turkey is carried into view and the camera follows. The sack is set on a drafting table and opened. We pull back to see Travis’ dad hard at work on whatever was in burlap sack. The camera rises back up into the upper level of the house to see Travis in the same spot he was previously in. He turns and walks back out of the door.
EXT. YARD-DAY
Just as Travis heads out the door his mother is walking up towards the house with her nurse’s clothes on.
MOTHER Stick around Travis. We are all going out to eat tonight down at the diner.
Travis looks down with dissapointment and kicks some loose dirt on the ground.
Fade to
EXT. DINER-EVENING
The dark blue Ford pickup truck pulls up to the diner with Travis, his mother, and his father. All three get out of the truck and walk into the diner.
INT. DINER-EVENING
The three walk to an empty booth and sit down. The diner is crowded with businessmen smoking cigars and drinking black coffee. A waitress walks up to the booth.
WAITRESS What can I get y’all?
FATHER Two BLTs and two split pea soups.
WAITRESS And for you hun?
FATHER Nothing for me, thanks.
As soon as the waitress leaves, Travis’ father opens his wallet and pulls out two brand new one hundred dollar bills. He sets the bills next to each other on the table and gets up.
FATHER I need to make a call
Travis’ father walks over towards the payphone. He puts up his collar and puts his hands deep in his pockets.
We cut back to Travis eating some of the soup the waitress has just set down. Before he can get any more spoonfuls in, his mother touches his hand from across the table.
MOTHER We’re leaving. You’re father’s gone.
TRAVIS What?
MOTHER Come on. We planned this so there wouldn’t be a scene.
Travis gets up from the table but he stands and stares at the area near the phone. Near the phone there is a solid metal door with an exit sign above it.
MOTHER Travis, please.
Travis’ mother stands there with the keys to the Ford truck in her hand.
MOTHER We’re giving each other time to think, Travis. We’ll probably get back together in a month, with all these little problems ironed out and everyone just as happy as before.
TRAVIS He’s coming back?
MOTHER He’s coming back.
Travis (Looking towards the payphone) Do you still love him?
MOTHER I love him dearly. Now let’s go, please.
Travis still stands in the same spot and is staring towards the door with the exit sign above it.
FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN TEXT: 6 MONTHS LATER
Cut to
EXT. SMALL YARD-DAY
We see a condo with not much of a yard but an orange tree and palm trees are visible.
Cut to
INT. HOUSE-DAY
Travis is sitting on the bed in his room. Travis has changed since the last time we saw him. Now Travis is a little taller, he has some facial hair, his face has some acne, and he has a deeper voice. Travis is looking at a supermarket tabloid with headlines about crop circles and strange sightings. His mother opens his door.
MOTHER Travis I told you to get ready. We can’t be late.
Travis tosses the tabloid onto his nightstand where many other tabloids are sitting. He goes over to his closet and pulls out a suit.
Cut to Travis’ mother is leaning against the counter in the kitchen with a mug of coffee in her hand. She is dressed up also. Sitting at the table are Travis’ grandparents and PERCY. Percy is in his early forties and he is wearing a U.S. Coast Guard shirt. Travis’s grandparents are wearing light clothes and are very tan. Travis walks into the kitchen with his suit on. His mother pours out her coffee and grabs her keys.
MOTHER You ready, hun?
TRAVIS I guess
PERCY You look good kid-o. Professional.
TRAVIS Yeah. Right.
GRANDFATHER Don’t worry Travis. They are just going to ask you a few questions and you’ll be done.
MOTHER We’d better head out then. Mom, Dad, we’ll be back around noon for lunch.
As Travis and his mother head for the door his mother gives Percy a kiss. Percy pats Travis on the back as Travis walks out the door. Travis’ grandparents stand next to each other and watch as Travis and his mother leave. The grandparents keep smiles on their faces till Travis and his mother leave.
Cut to
INT. COURTROOM-DAY
Travis, his mother, and a lawyer, MR. ANDERSON, meet at a judge’s stand in an empty courtroom.
JUDGE We are here to determine the rightful custody of Travis Joseph McLean. Mr. Anderson is here on behalf of Travis’ father, Mr. Gerald McLean.
MR. ANDERSON Mr. McLean wishes to have custody of Travis during the months Travis is on summer break from school. Travis will reside with Mr. McLean at his estate in Helena, Montana.
JUDGE I find these requests to be reasonable. Is there any objection from you Ms. Mclean?
MOTHER No. Travis will be fine with his father for the summer.
JUDGE Okay then. Travis Joseph McLean will reside with his father in Helena, Montana for the summer months and then be returned to his mother at the beginning of school.
Travis is holding back a smile as he and his mother walk out of the courthouse.
EXT. STREET-DAY
Travis and his mother walk towards their car.
MOTHER I guess we’d better get you packed up and ready for the flight to Montana.
The two get into the car and just as Travis’ door slams shut we cut to
INT. AIRPORT-DAY
We see an empty terminal and then few seconds later Travis walks through the gate with a large group of people. He looks around for his father and then finally spots him. Travis’ father looks pale and has a dark beard. He has put on a little weight around the mid-section. The two hug and head for the exit.
Cut to
INT. CAR-DAY
Travis and his father get into a rusty white Oldsmobile Cutlass. Wedged between the dash and the windshield is a half-eaten bag of potato chips. Travis’ father turns the key and they start the drive back to Travis’ father’s trailer.
TRAVIS You’re looking good.
FATHER Baloney. I’m eating worse, sleeping less, drinking more, and feeling ****tier every day.
TRAVIS I didn’t know. I’m sorry.
FATHER I threw away my life, Travis; I hated computers. They bored me stiff. Everyone thinks of computers as clever, but in fact they’re the definition of dumb. They aren’t electronic minds at all.
TRAVIS We’ll they can’t be all that bad.
FATHER Oh? Imagine a person who all he can do is repeat what you tell him, not even twist things. Imagine spending twenty years with him.
After a long pause Travis speaks again.
TRAVIS It’s good to see you again Dad.
FATHER You too Travis. You too.
Cut to
EXT. TRAILER HOME-DAY
Travis and his father arrive at the father’s trailer. The trailer is in mild condition but is on some property all to its self. The two get out of the car and get a look around.
FATHER It’s not much, but it’s cozy.
TRAVIS Hey. It beats buggy polluted Florida.
FATHER He he. C’mon, let me show you inside. I’m sure you could use a shower and a nap.
Travis and his father walk into the trailer and shut the door.
Cut to
EXT. TRAILER HOME-NIGHT
Travis’ father is sitting in a lawn chair by a small fire and is drinking a beer. Near his chair are about 7 empty beer bottles and an empty bag of potato chips. Travis walks out of the back door and sits in the lawn chair next to his father.
FATHER So how is your mother doing?
TRAVIS She’s fine.
FATHER Still with that Percy guy from the Coast Guard?
TRAVIS Yeah. Percy Finn
FATHER Pshhht. What kind of name is that? Percy Finn.
TRAVIS He’s really not that bad, Dad.
FATHER Yeah. And I’ll bet he’s some real hero too. Saving people’s lives that are too dumb to swim? The Coast Guard is just another phony excuse for a military branch.
Travis just sits and looks at his father. He is speechless.
FATHER C’mon. What has he ever done? You know what? You wanna see something real, lemme show you what I’ve been doing.
Travis’ father gets up from his lawn chair and walks into his trailer. A minute later he comes out with a white sheet under his arm and a large cardboard box in his hands. He lays out the sheet and starts to set objects one by one from the box and onto the sheet. Travis walks over to the deck.
FATHER Lemme ask you somethin’, Travis. Could Percy Finn come up with something like this?
TRAVIS What is it?
On the white sheet is what appears to be the skeleton of a small child. The skeleton has deer hide for clothes. Spread out around the skeleton are little tools for hunting and small instruments crafted from bones, sticks, and strings.
FATHER You are looking at the work of a genius, son. Meet the remains of Howling Johnny Hale.
TRAVIS Howling who?
FATHER Here. Look at this.
Travis’ father hands him a newspaper article that reads: 6-Year-Old Music Prodigy Missing: Worst Feared.
FATHER Nobody ever found his body or any traces of him.
TRAVIS But now they’re going to?
FATHER Exactly. What we are going to do is bury all of this near a cliff out in Glacier National Park.
TRAVIS It looks good.
FATHER Yeah but you wanna know why it’s so perfect?
Travis’ father now pulls out another newspaper clipping. This clipping is pulled from a rucksack that belongs to the skeleton. The clipping looks older and more faded. The article is from the San Francisco Chronicle.
As Travis looks at it he reads bits and pieces of it aloud.
TRAVIS “Somewhat skittish fingering.” “Oddly romantic choice of material.”
Travis looks at his father.
TRAVIS He couldn’t take the criticism.
Travis’ father just sits there smiling and nodding his head.
FATHER The moment this thing gets discovered and reported on, people will know there’s a master out there. It’s better than Piltdown Man.
TRAVIS You’re right.
FATHER People won’t want to explain this thing. It’s magical.
TRAVIS So when are we going to do this?
FATHER Well, I wasn’t sure when to do it. I have everything planned out and ready to go. We could start tomorrow.
TRAVIS We’d better get some good rest then.
FATHER Yeah. Help me get all this inside.
Travis and his father pick up the remains and tools carefully and bring them into the house. Hold on house for a few seconds.
Cut to
GLACIER NATIONAL PARK-NIGHT
We see a trailhead with a sign posted warning of grizzly bears. A moment later Travis and his father pull up in the rusty Cutlass. They both get out and each man carries a knapsack. They start to head up the trail.
Fade to
A trail sign is posted that reads: 2mi./3.2km. Travis and his father come walking up along the trail. Travis’ father is covered in sweat and is short of breath. He slows down a bit and wipes the sweat off of his forehead with his cap.
TRAVIS You want me to take your pack?
Travis’s father is looking down with fatigue. He pulls of his pack.
FATHER Sure, here.
Travis’ father starts to walk up the trail again.
Travis holds his father’s pack and just stares at his father with surprise. He starts to follow.
Cut to
The two are walking and the climb is a little steeper. Travis’s father puts his hand on the nearest tree as he is walking so to hold himself up a little.
Travis’ father stops and slumps down on a rock. He is breathing hard and starting to shiver. He holds his head between his knees. Travis shines his flashlight on his father.
Travis’ father looks up at the light but quickly shies his eye away.
TRAVIS Let’s stop, we’ll do it here.
FATHER (Breathing heavily) It has to be near the snow line. Off the trail more. We need the cliff too. It has to make a story.
Travis looks at his father with sorrow and a bit of disgust. He takes of his jacket and drapes it over his father’s shoulders.
Travis puts the other backpack over his shoulders.
TRAVIS I’ll do it myself. I won’t be long. You sit tight and keep warm, okay?
Travis’ father nods his head.
TRAVIS Don’t move.
Travis starts to walk up the trail again.
Cut to
We are higher on the mountain now. We see a large cliff and some snow. There is the sound of digging in the background. The camera pans over slowly to see Travis starting to dig a hole.
Cut to
Travis’ father is still sitting on the rock. He is breathing hard and his head is still between his knees.
We cut back to Travis digging the hole. The hole is a bit deeper.
TRAVIS (V.O.) Five months later, my father died. The news of his stroke came as no surprise to me.
Cut to
INT. AIRPORT GATE – DAY
Travis hands a plane ticket to a flight attendant on the plane. Travis is boarding the plane.
TRAVIS (V.O.) I left for Florida five days earlier than planned, vowing not to return the following summer and sensing perhaps I wouldn’t have to.
Cut back to Travis digging the hole deeper. Hold for 7 seconds.
Cut to
EXT. GRAVEYARD – DAY
Five businessmen wearing suits stand near a casket while a preacher gives the last words.
TRAVIS (V.O.) My mother and I did not attend the funeral, which was paid for by my father’s company, a Montana data-collection firm.
Cut back to Travis chest deep in the hole. He lowers the Howling Johnny remains into the hole.
TRAVIS (V.O.) I didn’t want my father’s urn when his boss offered to send it to me. I had a better way to remember my father, a memory that was mine alone, hidden where the world couldn’t touch it.
Jump cut ahead to Travis packing down the dirt that has filled back up the hole.
TRAVIS (V.O.) When my father died, Howling Johnny had still not been uncovered, as I’d taken pains to make sure he never would be.
Travis grabs his stuff and leaves the site. Hold on the burial site.
TRAVIS (V.O.) I had simply buried him too deep.
Fade to black.
Credits.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: Harmonica,
If frogs had wings they wouldn't bump their asses on lillypads.
Posts: 66 | Location: Central Michigan | Registered: January 06, 2006
I didn't read it, moer like skimmed over it, but I read the end, and I noticed that:
quote:
OLDER TRAVIS (V.O.) I had simply buried him too deep.
and
quote:
I had a better way to remember my father, a memory that was mine alone, hidden where the world couldn’t touch it.
Kick ass. I think I may give this one a once-over when I find the time. From what little I read of it, the dialogue didn't seem that gaudy and cliche at all, which is refreshing.
I stuck really close to the story and most of the dialogue comes from Mr. Kirn. If you get a chance could you tell me if the structure of the screenplay is in good shape? It feels a little weird to me when I re-read it.
oh yeah, forgot to add. I can send you a MS word copy of the script if you'd like, to make it easier to read. just send me an e-mail
This message has been edited. Last edited by: Harmonica,
If frogs had wings they wouldn't bump their asses on lillypads.
Posts: 66 | Location: Central Michigan | Registered: January 06, 2006
Yeah, seriously.... i don't have the time to read it but the diologue wasn't bad at all and the suspense actually made me want to know what was coming next.
Posts: 293 | Location: North NJ | Registered: July 23, 2004