I always wanted to try to write a music video, and maybe film it when I have access to a camera and stuff. Anyway, lemme get some critism on it please:

BRAND NEW COLONY


MUSIC VIDEO


EXT. SHOTS - DAYBREAK


SHOT. CAMERA POINTING UPWARD. Branches and leaves in foreground. Sun shines through leaves.


SHOT. CAMERA DOLLY'S LEFT through suburban streets. Sky takes up most of shot.


SHOT. CAMERA inbetween car lanes. POINTING at bridge. Sky takes up most of shot.


INT. BEAT'S BEDROOM - DAYBREAK


CAMERA POINTING FROM CIELING DOWN TO [BEAT], male, 17, on bed. [Beat] opens his eyes. CAMERA STARTS ZOOMING OUT. [Beat] sits up, out of frame.


WIDE SHOT of room. [Beat] turns and looks at the nightstand.


SHOT of the nightstand. A CD player sits. [Beat] grabs it.


INT. BUS - NIGHT


[LOVE], female, 17, sits next to [Beat]. [Beat] puts her hand in his. He sings to her.


BEAT


I'll be the grapes fermented, bottled and served on a table set in my finest suit, like a perfect gentleman. I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick, where you will sit and contemplate your day.


CAMERA SWIRVES UPWARD.


FADE TO BLACK.


INT. CLOSET - DAYBREAK


FADE FROM BLACK.


CAMERA SWIRVES DOWN. [Beat] puts on his clothes. His shoes. His jacket. He looks down, catching the most important article: headphones. He holds them in his hands, looks up and ponders.


INT. BUS - DAYBREAK


[Love] is sitting on the bus, looking out the window, bobbing her head.


CAMERA PULLS BACK to reveal [Beat] staring at her. His headphones are identical. [Beat] turns around and looks down. He's trying to hide a smile.


INT. CLOSET - DAYBREAK


[Beat] smiling the same way, he puts on the headphones and walks out of frame.


INT. BEAT'S HOUSE - DAYBREAK


[Beat] turns his keys and locks the door. He turns to the right and starts walking.

BEAT


I'll be the waterwings that'll save you if you start drowning if...

EXT. BUS - NIGHT


[Beat] serenades:


BEAT


An open tab when your judgements on the brink.


EXT. BUS STOP - DAYBREAK


[Beat] walks to the bus stop. He sits down and waits for the bus to come.

BEAT


I'll be the phonograph that plays your favourite albums back as your lying there...


INT. BUS - NIGHT


BEAT


Drifting off to sleep...


[Beat] leans in, whispering in [Love]'s ear.


BEAT


Drifting off to sleep...


EXT. BUS STOP - DAYBREAK


The bus show's up in the distance. [Beat] stands up and let's his hand out.


INT. BUS - NIGHT


BEAT


I'll be the platform shoes, undo what heredity's done to you, you won't have to strain to look into my eyes.


CLOSE UP ON THIER EYES.


EXT. BUS STOP - DAYBREAK


The bus stops. [Beat] walks in.


BEAT


I'll be your wintercoat, buttoned and zipped up to the throat, with the collar up, so you won't catch a cold.


INT. BUS - NIGHT


BEAT


I want to take you far, from the cynics in this town, and kiss you on the mouth. We'll cut our bodies free, from the tethers of this scene, start a brand new colony. Where everything will change, we'll give ourselves new names. Identities erased. The sun will heat the grounds under our bare feet. In this brand new colony. In this brand new colony.


INT. BUS - DAYBREAK


[Beat] stands, watching the scenery pass by. His eyes drift towards [Love]. She sits there, listening to hear headphones. [Beat] reaches up and rubs his headphones. He nervously smiles. He takes a deep breath and steps forward.


INT. BUS - NIGHT


[Beat] and [Love] into each other's eyes, then into the camera.


INT. BUS - DAYBREAK


[Beat] keeps walking forward. He's nervous and shy. He swings his bookbag over his side and takes out a CD. He smiles, gathering courage.


INT. BUS - NIGHT


[Beat] looks at [Love]. They sing together.


BEAT AND LOVE


Everything will change...


INT. BUS - DAYBREAK


[Beat] smiles couragously. He reaches towards his headphones and pulls them off.


INT. BUS - NIGHT


[Beat] rubs [Love]'s cheek with care.


INT. BUS - DAYBREAK


[Beat] is profound. He's mesmerized.


INT. BUS - NIGHT


BEAT AND LOVE


Everything will change...


INT. BUS - DAYBREAK


[Beat] stands in front of [Love]. He offers her his CD. She takes the gift, puzzled. He stands over her and smiles, he sings.


INT. BUS - NIGHT


BEAT AND LOVE


Everything...


INT. BUS - DAY


BEAT


... will change...


INT. BUS - NIGHT


[Beat] pulls the bus string. The bus pulls to a stop.


INT. BUS - DAYBREAK


[Beat] sits down next to [Love], they smile at each other. They've fallen in love.


INT. BUS - NIGHT


[Beat] and [Love], holding hands, walk to the exit. They step off the bus.


INT. BUS - DAYBREAK


[Beat] and [Love] are now old. They hold each others hand, their other hands block the sun from thier eyes. The bus passes behind them.


INT. BUS - NIGHT


CAMERA DOLLYS FORWARD, in the of the back of the bus lying on the bus seats are two sets of headphones and thier CD players.


FADE TO BLACK.

The music might do a little good when you listen to it. If you want to go through the trouble of finding the song, it's called "Brand New Colony" by The Postal Service. Tell me what you think. There's plenty of visual metaphors in the script, so if you want to go through the trouble, analyze it a bit and give me your interpretations. Peace.

Considering it is one of my favorite songs on the planet, I hope you will do the song justice. Good luck, what you've described could be great given the right visuals.

But remember, with a music video, it's all about the visuals, just keep that in mind.