ok, this is an experimental short about a mans journey in writing a book, and his affairs with women are his fuel to write this book...its a silent, and i dont know how to end it, and any suggestions are welcome...

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Story starts with a writer, in his early 20’s, on his desk, with a cigarette in his hand, thinking, with a glass of whisky on the end of the table. Paper are allover the desk.
The camera zooms in slowly on him as he tilts his head up. He seems distorted by some noise in another room. He drops his pen.

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An attractive female housekeeper, cleaning up a bedroom.

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The writer walks in the room stares at her as she is on the floor cleaning.
She tilts her head up slowly staring back at him.
He slowly walks towards her.

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The writer is kissing the housekeeper’s body bottom to top, with his hand feeling her naked skin.

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Both of them lying in bed, gazing at the ceiling.
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The writer and other women gazing at the ceiling.

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The housekeeper turn to the side with sadness in her eyes, naked on the bed.
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The writer is kissing another woman in his house.

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The housekeeper, with a smile on her facing, having juice for him in a glass.

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The housekeeper sees the writer with his lover. She walks away.

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The writer is kissing the other woman the same way he kissed the housekeeper.

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The housekeeper comes to the writer with her bag heading to leave. He yells at her. There are tears in her eyes. She leaves the house.
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The writer is getting kicked out of the lover’s house.
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The writer driving in the rain with his friend; trying to accept the situation of his loneliness.
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The writer is sitting in a strip club. While everyone is enjoying their time, he is just staring at the stripper, eating her with his eyes. He sees the housekeeper’s face in her. He panics.
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The writer is in his house, alone, in the dark. He is full of anger, he writes more and more but can’t get anything he wants to say on paper. He drinks more and more.
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With a pale face and a light beard; sitting on a love seat. He watches the housekeeper walking in on him. His face is lit with a smile, shared with a tear on his face.
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The writer is embracing the housekeeper and kissing her. He is in a better condition.
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Time has passed. The writer and the housekeeper are hanging out with the friend and the lover. The housekeeper looks more appealing, and elegant. They are sitting together laughing.
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The writer is in his room, he watches the love of the friend walk in towards the bathroom, and he sneaks up behind her and makes out with her.
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In a separate room in the house, the housekeeper approaches the friend and starts to kiss him.
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The 2 couples are at the hospital viewing the writer’s and the housekeeper’s new born baby.
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The writer and housekeeper are at the hospital viewing the other couple’s new born baby.
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Little more time passed. The writer is praying.
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The writer is sitting on a chair reading, he glances up, with happiness and fulfillment in his face looking outside a window.
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The writer is watching in the audience his son playing the piano. He stands up and applause with joy filling him.
The son and daughter are arguing with the parents, about wanting to be with each other. And the writer doesn’t want that to happen, and the parents accept that.
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The 2 kids run away.
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The housekeeper reads the letter her daughter left her about her running away, and she calls the writer and she cries.
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The kids return with a baby, the parents forgive them for what they did.
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The writer is honored for the work he wrote, and there is a gather of all of them together and friends to congratulate him.
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The writer lays down in bed, content, and sleeps.

Everybody Dies in a frak orgy!!!

he gets diarrhea and dies from dehydration.

maybe im missing something, but I have no idea what the hell I just read.

nevertheless, make him have a heart attack while masturbating on an opium trip.

but he doesn't die, the housekeeper comes in and saves him, and then she reads what he's been writing and its the story we just saw. sound cliched? it is.

HAHAHA, please - I'm dying here Kyle.

any seriuos replies that might help?

A little confusing but I get it. You should write the main character(writer) as being trapped, separated from his son by a daughter that's not his. Make sure this conflict interferes with his writing. He should be the only one in favor of the two kids seeing each other while everyone else(not knowing the truth) disagrees with him. When the two run away, the writer will be liberated from his burden. His wife(housekeeper) will leave(to find her daughter back?) and the writer will finally be free(to write?), his life stable again(without women). From here, I would go on with kyle's suggestion to have him writing what we just saw. The idea of all this would be to suggest that long term relations have no place in this writer's life. It might work better if intead of feeling freed from his family life, he only feels worse and worse right up to having a nervous breakdown/suicide/overdose/ whatever. If this is an experimental film, consider trying paste together all the possible ways for the writer to die or go crazy. Adds a disturbing, pessimistic atmosphere. (I hate happy endings! sorry j/k)

Hope this gives you some ideas.

You need a long 10 min scene where the writer smokes dramaticly and talks about life's anguish. After which he shoots his wife and himself.

quote:

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Originally posted by ralphnj:
A little confusing but I get it. You should write the main character(writer) as being trapped, separated from his son by a daughter that's not his. Make sure this conflict interferes with his writing. He should be the only one in favor of the two kids seeing each other while everyone else(not knowing the truth) disagrees with him. When the two run away, the writer will be liberated from his burden. His wife(housekeeper) will leave(to find her daughter back?) and the writer will finally be free(to write?), his life stable again(without women). From here, I would go on with kyle's suggestion to have him writing what we just saw. The idea of all this would be to suggest that long term relations have no place in this writer's life. It might work better if intead of feeling freed from his family life, he only feels worse and worse right up to having a nervous breakdown/suicide/overdose/ whatever. If this is an experimental film, consider trying paste together all the possible ways for the writer to die or go crazy. Adds a disturbing, pessimistic atmosphere. (I hate happy endings! sorry j/k)

Hope this gives you some ideas.

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thanx for thee great replies

i have another thing that poped in my head...like i like everything and im solid about till the wife swapping thing..after that, i dont know where i should go from there