Me and a friend of mine are currently writing a script that you will see in theatres some day garunteed. I've already written about 35 pages or so and it seems to be coming along really well. The only problem i'm having is I have trouble describing character expressions. For example Theres a scene where somebody gets killed, and a guy thats in on it has a look in his eyes like "what have i done?" but I just can't easily describe it. I've read scripts where the screenwriters can make it look simple. But I just have no idea what to put most of the time, the only expressions i can seem to come up with are simple grade 2 things like "Excited" or "Angry". Is there any sites that could help more or does anyone have any advice? Thanks

You could describe his eyes with such adjectives as unblinking, terror-filled, transfixed, dazed, or even childlike in their awe and disbelief, as if a child had fired a BB or paintball gun at someone for the first time...see where I'm going with this?

quote:

Me and a friend of mine are currently writing a script that you will see in theatres some day garunteed.

Is that just enthusiastic optimism or do you actually have that set up already?

If you do that's awesome.

Definitly it isn't set up already lol, it's just optimisim and confidence, we know we have a great story, and once I begin to really learn screenwriting better, it will be awesome. It seems almost pointless to write a script without that intention, doesn't it?

Well a lot of people do screenwriting as a craft. And some people knwo there movies wont make it to theaters and are happy to just show it locally and stuff.

"Me and a friend of mine are currently writing a script that you will see in theatres some day garunteed."

God, what a half-assed, over-confident thing to say. Ugh. That's really stupid of you. I hope you fail.

May I ask whats so disgusting about being confident?? I wouldn't have any motivation to write this script if I didn't have that intention, am i supposed to want to fail? Everybody says that you have to write at least 2 or 3 scripts before you can write one good enough to sell, maybe thats correct if you have an attitude like you do, but i certainly don't see it that way. Go ahead and shoot for failure if thats what you want, but i don't think it gives you the right to criticize what I want.

quote:

Originally posted by labonte18:
May I ask whats so disgusting about being confident?? I wouldn't have any motivation to write this script if I didn't have that intention, am i supposed to want to fail? Everybody says that you have to write at least 2 or 3 scripts before you can write one good enough to sell, maybe thats correct if you have an attitude like you do, but i certainly don't see it that way. Go ahead and shoot for failure if thats what you want, but i don't think it gives you the right to criticize what I want.

Preach on

Confidence will get you far in just about eveything, writing is no different. As for describing the eyes, that's tricky because actors dont really have that much control over their eyes. If you describe the look the actor should have on his/her face then the eyes should come along with that. I really like Dan Gross's suggestion of using a comparison. If you use something like shooting a gun for the first time readers/actors should be able to get a pretty good idea of what you're trying to say.

This thread made me laugh. Absurd confidence with no ability to back it up doesn't mean anything (not saying you have no ability, but just because you're confident doesn't mean anything). Furthermore, a great script is just that. A script. It doesn't mean a thing until the film is edited and ready to premiere.

If you're fussing over a single word or description in the script, your priorities are in the wrong place, IMO.

Suspicion breeds confidence.

Thanks Dan Gross and holdemmrpink, I started reading some more scripts and trying to learn about using comparison and i now find it works really well and not out of place when im trying to describe something. I'll be sure to post some of my script when the first draft is done.

Be poetic. Use imagery when you describe emotions. Take creative writing classes and you'll figure out what I mean.

If you plan on directing this movie, just describe to the actor in person what exactly you are looking for.

Ciao! Let me know if the script will become a movie. My Italian studio would be honoured to produce the soundtrack.

quote:

The only problem i'm having is I have trouble describing character expressions. For example Theres a scene where somebody gets killed, and a guy thats in on it has a look in his eyes like "what have i done?" but I just can't easily describe it.

I might be over simplifying here, but can't you but write stuff line:

CHARACTER stood, staring by the body, stunned and unable to believe what he had done.

I think an actor would be able to work of a description of the emotion you want them to show as well as a description of their expression.


Also, if you're looking for example of scripts, this site http://www.script-o-rama.com/ has a lot of scripts for well known films.

Loucien:
That won't work because you would be describing how the character feels. You should only write what can be seen or heard.

labonte18:
Why not just say "Killer Joe gazes at his lifless victom with a look of disbelief." Or the look of regret and Disbelief(if your character in fact regrets what has happend that is).
Its the director's job to convey to the actor what he wants, and the actor's job to give it to him.
Don't over think it. Just say what you mean in a simple way and you'll get your vision across just fine.
Good luck.........
.........Yldii....

quote:

Originally posted by labonte18:
Go ahead and shoot for failure if thats what you want, but i don't think it gives you the right to criticize what I want.

If there was online rhetoric to describe what I'm doing right now, I'd--oh, cool.

ROFL!

You're confusing "shooting for failure" with being realistic. I don't think anyone who has posted on this board has ever directed a movie that has been shown on the "big screen" and to assume that being confident enough at what you do will get you that far is just arrogance. It's insulting (but more humorous) to those who are better than you that you think your work will end up on the big screen.

Confidence may get you far, but you ain't goin nowhere if you just plain suck.

"I don't think anyone who has posted on this board has ever directed a movie that has been shown on the "big screen""

Actually, I have (twice). Both were shorts, but it still counts.

I do agree with the gist of your post, that simply assuming that it is 'good enough' doesn't translate into reality.

Yeah i have to agree with you guys having faith and be able to actually know that something is good using objective critisism is hard. It has be a combination of certain qualities in order achieve your goals i guess you need to have faith and to practice a lot.

Well i see this thread is already old but ill post what i think. Your problem is writing expresions of actors on paper but maybe its not that, maybe its how do you plan to direct your actors. Since iam a fan of Eisenstein films and a supporter of his montage theory i would suggest that you let the cut tell the story and not the actors. I suggest you read some books explaining the montage theory (if you havent done it already) and try to write scripts using that technique.

Then you will see that you dont need to explain expressions. An expample of this would be(i dont remember who performed the expirement) 3 simple shots, shot A showing an old man smiling, shot B showing a young girl and shot C showing a baby. If you juxtapose shot A with B you get a different feeling than if you juxtapose Shot A with C.

Well anyway iam not sure if that what you are thinking but i thought i say it anyway. Hope this helps.

quote:

Originally posted by labonte18:
May I ask whats so disgusting about being confident?? I wouldn't have any motivation to write this script if I didn't have that intention, am i supposed to want to fail? Everybody says that you have to write at least 2 or 3 scripts before you can write one good enough to sell, maybe thats correct if you have an attitude like you do, but i certainly don't see it that way. Go ahead and shoot for failure if thats what you want, but i don't think it gives you the right to criticize what I want.

1) It's disgusting because:
A) It's sad that most likely you're going to be wrong and will be let down
B) It's insulting to those here who have written scripts and not gotten them out in theatres to suggest you're better.

2) If that's you're only motivation, that's sad. Even if no one ever saw you movie, you should still get something amazing out of it. And, even if it doesn't get out in theatres, you should be proud to hold the finish thing, show it to friend, and say "I wrote a feature script" or "I made a feature movie."

3) You shouldn't want to fail. You should hope with everything you have that you succeed (while realizing you might not.)