I came up with something quick for my communications technology class - a short two minute script (with thanks by using a small font unprofessional AND unorthodox)

_________________________________________________

FADE IN:

INT. CAFETERIA - DAY

GEOFF sits alone, drinking PEPSI and listening to tunes. SARAH suddenly sits beside him. Geoff gives her a careless glare and sips his drink.

SARAH
You’re an existentialist…

GEOFF
(mimicks)
You’re very observant.

BEAT

SARAH
Do you mind my being here?

GEOFF
I really don’t care - I mean you didn’t
really ask to sit down, man… it’s a free
country and ****.

SARAH
Free country when rights of people are
being oppressed?

GEOFF
I sit back and enjoy the ride…

SARAH
So you don’t care if your daughter is
forced to live a certain lifestyle by
our government.

GEOFF
What… are you on?

SARAH
So you’re lazy.

GEOFF
(angered)
Well I mean, that’s just like you’re
opinion - man.

Sarah stares at Geoff intently.

SARAH
Hmmm… Coke is better than Pepsi

Geoff spits out his Pepsi in sudden shock.

GEOFF
What the **** man… Who the, who the
hell are you man?

Sarah laughs.


GEOFF (CONT’D)
I’m serious… what is, why are you -

SARAH
Uh-huh.

GEOFF
Uh-huh? What are you?

SARAH
I’m Sarah McMurphy.

GEOFF
And I’m paying you two dollars to
**** off.

Sarah continues laughing.

GEOFF
(annoyed)
I’m serious… man…

Sarah continues laughing.

GEOFF
I…
(sighs)
****…

Sarah takes out a cigarette, Geoff shuns her. Suddenly his attention is gathered by her trying to light the cig.

GEOFF
Hey… Hey… don’t… this is a public,
area…

SARAH
So…

GEOFF
You have to be considerate to other
people, it’s a basic freedom of socialism…

SARAH
You should be a writer… get those
angered outbursts out.

GEOFF
Well thank you on your
(snaps fingers)
your…
(snaps fingers)
astute analysis on life.

SARAH
That doesn’t change the fact that
I’m right.

GEOFF
Alright you… you win this one.

Geoff leaves, Sarah is alone. Sarah cautiously looks at the Pepsi and has a sip. She chooses to keep it.

FADE OUT


mind the formating please, thankyou.

"so you don’t care if your daughter is
forced to live a certain lifestyle by
our government."

you should elaborate on this and make it more of the film. its the only line that got me interested, but then nothing else came from it.

quote:

Originally posted by Kyle Johnson:
"nothing else came from it."

Exactly.

I agree. That line intrigued me. We, the audience, need to know more, or else we'll just be mildly annoyed.

That line serves as almost the girl's overreacting to situation, I mean it paints her character as this anti-governmental-type person. Like how I think this would run is as an awkward situation, and like that line would definately catch a few as being extreme, but the boy doesn't care about her or anything really for that matter. So I don't know, maybe it serves a pseudo left jab in a bunch of rights, catching the audience off-guard and then not giving them satisfaction of ellaboration?

What the hell is this?

It doesn't go anywhere, and no offense, but the misappropriated terms are borderline offensive.

What misappropriated terms? I found it to be an interesting little tidbit, even though it didn't go anywhere.

Oh yeah, it literally is made to be of no importance - it's a mere awkward situation between two weirdo strangers. Like in life, not everything is designed to make sense, random things happen, this is one such instance. The girl taking the Pepsi shows her inner almost curiousity to stop annoying this man, that she is willing to see his side, but cannot display it... Other than that there is no real deep stuff here, a surface level contact mister.

EDIT: Actually I'm going to take an artistic 'tude and say it's open to interpretation - it can show the monotomy of human contact, or how it is powerful, it could show the need for human contact in an age of computers, the meaning of it is only as deep as you dig it yourself.

no need to make the film anymore! You've already help imagine it in my head!

i think the script is too quick and th dialogue rushed to places that were assumed rather than built up to through other things
(like the quote abotu the girls, you could really elaborate more on this and bring some very interesting evidence to the table...its obvious stuff but we all see it in a diff way)

I thought you used too litte words...and big ones. You should elaborate more these chaaratcers feelings. Get them to express a little more openly, give them a situation they can react in ratehr than just a seating...somerthing that relates to whats going on with their prejudice behavior.

quote:

no need to make the film anymore! You've already help imagine it in my head!

i think the script is too quick and th dialogue rushed to places that were assumed rather than built up to through other things
(like the quote abotu the girls, you could really elaborate more on this and bring some very interesting evidence to the table...its obvious stuff but we all see it in a diff way)

I thought you used too litte words...and big ones. You should elaborate more these chaaratcers feelings. Get them to express a little more openly, give them a situation they can react in ratehr than just a seating...somerthing that relates to whats going on with their prejudice behavior.

Or, instead you could just add some combination of gnomes and sticky treasure (not necessarily in that order though) and get the same result!

quote:

Originally posted by Hill Dawson Kane:

quote:

no need to make the film anymore! You've already help imagine it in my head!

i think the script is too quick and th dialogue rushed to places that were assumed rather than built up to through other things
(like the quote abotu the girls, you could really elaborate more on this and bring some very interesting evidence to the table...its obvious stuff but we all see it in a diff way)

I thought you used too litte words...and big ones. You should elaborate more these chaaratcers feelings. Get them to express a little more openly, give them a situation they can react in ratehr than just a seating...somerthing that relates to whats going on with their prejudice behavior.

Or, instead you could just add some combination of gnomes and sticky treasure (not necessarily in that order though) and get the same result!

coughjail-baitcough

I like the idea of like some random even occuring to affect the characters to display their emotions, and the idea of like maybe filming what the character means, but placing it in the story where I do it in pictures and the dialogue serves as a narration.

I think the ultimate goal in filmmaking is to achieve a total show

and not a tell

so to avoid any "flashback" "imagination sequences"...what are you avoiding? how can it just BE the film without giving a reason for its surreal.

Surrealism... it's a facet that could exist in this non-surrealist film. You'd get a double hit, of realism and surrealism in some sortof perverted art film. But then again maybe the whole concept, exploration of characters' meanings like the "dream sequence" is a bastardization of this film's intent - maybe it's what the audience extrapolates from the dialogue and that's it, nothing more, nothing less... That isn't decided yet.

Sometimes people say stuff of no consequence, and with the girl I think that's what she is doing, pseudo-intellectual points she's trying to make - nothing fact based, just general statements to get Geoff's reaction. He thinks she's a crackpot.