Well- this is just a basic skeleton, i still need to add more characters and substance:



Jake Morton is alone. He’s been alone all his life. 20-year-old Jake finds himself stuck in a hell, as a wanderer passing from town to town trying to find the life he’s supposed to lead. His life has no point. He’s helpless, useless to society, and has no one to love him. Jake wants to be something. He wants to do something. He wants to change somebody’s life and for once be important. Most of all he wants to escape the empty zombie he’s become.

He meets a girl named Cecilia (who prefers to be called Jesse), a bubbly, optimistic girl he takes a shine to. The two talk, and Jake finally starts to find comfort and solace in one person. The two connect, and Cecilia, being very religious, believes she must help Jake. Jake, although somewhat hesitant to admit his problems, starts to open up to Cecilia slowly as she sees his troubles and begins to act as his own therapist. Jake, wanting to desperately to be of worth to someone, tries to return the favor as he too notices a hidden inner hurting in Cecilia’s life. Cecilia denies this though, assuring Jake she lives a perfectly happy life.

The first thing Cecilia does is invite Jake to a party at her friend, Jane’s house. There he meets a slew of people, including the psuedo-intellectual Mark, who explains his ridiculous theories, chewing Jake’s ear off. He is also a somewhat heavy partier, and seems to come on to Cecilia, even though she doesn’t like it very much- and neither does Jake. Finally, he briefly meets Tom- someone Cecilia really likes to be around, which also bothers the loner. Eventually, the mass amount of people becomes too much for him, and he becomes dizzy. The only thing he can focus on is Cecilia.

Eventually Jake opens up more and more to Cecilia, and as he does, seems to grow more and more negative. Cecilia eventually opens up more to Jake as well. Inadvertently, she shares some of her inner pain with Jake, revealing her rocky relationship with her estranged father, who finally sends her a letter after 9 years. At one point she breaks down and cries on Jake’s shoulder. She begins to feel alone too, and agrees with Jake’s somewhat drab outlook on society. He finally feels important. By now he has erased the rest of society, instead of opening up, and now focuses just on Cecilia, whom he believes he has a special bond with. At work he ignores his co-workers. The only other person he notices is Mark, who tries to get Jake involved in his drug selling, which makes Jake detest him even more.

In the following days, Jake attempts to inquire further about Cecilia’s father, but she quickly changes the subject, which confuses him. She no longer seems sad. She tries to cheer him up but he just seems more and more pessimistic. He begins to call her, but she is never home. One day, while in his car, he sees Tom and Cecilia walking together and laughing about something. This one moment starts to anger him, and suddenly he sees Cecilia as a liar, and no different from the rest of the world he hates. His insomnia grows worse, and he refuses any contact with Cecilia, no matter how hard it may be. After days of loneliness, he decides to try and talk with her, meeting up with her on her way to work. Ending in an argument as he vents his anger on her, comparing her to the rest of the idiots of the world. He sees himself as no more than a charity case.

He has ideas. Bad ones. He even confronts Tom, considering acting on these ideas. Tom, of course, has no clue who he is and the conversation ends in awkwardness. After days and days of anger, loneliness, and the never-ending feeling that he is heading for a dead end, he breaks.



well?

I like it.
is that encouraging enough to tell me more?
like, how does jake speak? do you have any dialogue written down, is he a funny pessimist or those really depressing types.
about cecilia, how happy and optimistic is she?
i question if jake would even be into her if she was all jolly all the time,yet her helping with his problems would make it understandable.
is this movie gonna depress the hell out of me? is cecilia the only positive force or does it rub off on jake who we ( the audience ) pay the most attention to there fore make it brighter. and does it have to end like it does?
dont think im trying to glitter up a good, honest movie but people dont want to see movies that are just about depressed people in depressing situations. not to say you cant cover such a topic and make it interesting, of course you can.but you need a balance, you know what i mean?
what type of movie are you going for with this?
i like the pseudo-intellectual mark character, i'd like to hear some of his abstract theories.

hope this was a bit of a help to you

thanks

Thanks for the feedback, I like how you asked me important question without being a cynical prick.

No dialogue, that's why I said it's a skeleton right now.

This movie is NOT one of those depressing, the guy kills himself at the end. It's basically about a guy who sees most of the world against him. His peers seem lower to him, like a bunch of superficial pricks who live their lives from one party to the next. He's lonely, and reaches out to this girl to help her, but really he's just dragging her down into his despair.

This girl could have been any girl. He really reaches out to anyone he feels he has the courage to, and the name, Cecilia, just sticks out to him. She hates the name, she likes Jesse, but to him, Cecilia is different- it's different from the plain Jane, Tom, Mark, and the rest of the world he's in. When he realizes she has problems, this feeds something in him.

At the same time he sees Mark as the apitomy of what he hates. He spouts out garbage that people eat up. He pretends to be such a nice guy, but in reality he deals drugs (and Jake sees him as the main supplier of his peers in this town). He even tries to get Jake into his dirty work. He constantly talks about Cecilia. Jake feels like he can still save Cecilia- from something- one way or the other.

I must admit, if no one has noticed yet, this was greatly influenced by a movie that has already been out for many years, and is very popular. But a lot of this is based off of my life too. I guess that's o reason to rip off a movie, but I like to think it's quite different in many ways.

What movie is it simular too? I really like the idea I think if you put the time into it then it could be a really deep movie.

good
sounds better than last time.

so, if this is based off another movie, what is it about yours that makes it standout and say "Nervous larry" instead of "(insert movie name here) rip off". does this movie have a point? a theme that the audience can actually grasp? not to say that you have to change the world or anything but so far to me it seems like the story just makes a big circle, you can do that, thats fine, but does the circle have a point?
it most likely doesnt have a point like "ohh, i see, it all comes together in the end" most likely the point is an underlying theme throughout the whole film. what is it? is it that jake can never really help anybody the way he wants to? every time he just ends up dragging them into this black pit of his? if so, what does that do for us? you can make a movie about this, but there should be some kind of resolution (whether positive or negative0 that people can relate to.
i hope you understand

GABRIEL

Well, as far as the similarities, I porbably sho uldn't have said "rip-off" because I didnt see the movie and say "Wow, i gotta copy this" It was more like I wanted to make a movie that reflected my life and formulated a plot, but then saw a well known classic that was strikingly similar to my life experiences (and probably many others). Therefore, I just feel people might think they are too similar.

But after all, this is a highschool film, and although I want it to be original, I have the freedom to do what I want, I'm not selling it.

I think this movie really doesn't have a full circle concept. It's more of a character study. maybe he doesn't change at the end. In real life, many people never change. Maybe he has changed, that's up to what the audience really thinks. But to just say "Jake is happy now, the end" that isnt real life. Sometimes things don't get wrapped up so to speak. Of course, I know the movie has to have some sense of conclusion, but the end result does not have to be apparent.