Okay guys, the glorius Santa Ana Department of Parks and Recreation denied my permit request today. Bastards, here's what to do when you need a permit-- feel free to add advice down below.

1. Dont mention the use of fake blood.

2. Be very vague in what you are doing, try to tell them as little as possible so your permit is requested. Tell them just enough to get it done.

3. KISS THEIR ASSES: Unless you do this you arent going anywhere. These bureaucratic scum are the worst on the planet. They will not call you back to tell you if your permit has been denied or not. In fact-- you wont even know unless you hunt them down, and that's if they dont leave on a vacation when your in the middle of trying to get your permit approved. These people dont GIVE A DAMN, and they are quite power hungry, and all to happy to turn you down just for the sake of not doing it.

You have to treat them like gods because even if they deny your permit, they'll send people out just to make sure you arent filming there on the dates you requested. So be vague about the times too. They'll be all to happy to send out a police officer and bill you for $69.00 an hour (with a minimum of four hours) which is complete bull****.

Another thing, sometimes (almost always) you will need what we call a "million dollar insurance policy" (MDIP)
These are taken into consideration if anyone stubs their toe the wrong way while you're on the sidewalk. Well these are hard to come by unless you either:

a. have a million dollars
b. attend a school that has this policy for their students aready and are willing to cover this policy under the guise of a school project.
c. attend a prominent film school


Each permit also costs about 116$ for the hours/day. Which doesnt include the mandatory officer fee if there are any mock firearms involved.

4. Be evasive yet seemingly straightforward. (Be a filmmaker)

5. Dont feel free to mark anything on the application just because it has a box next to it. Some of them are decoys, for example:

"firearms" will most likely be denied on sight if in a public region. The same goes for "explosives" and "blood".

"sidewalk use" will most likely be denied on sight in a popular arena.

"screaming" will most likely be denied on sight.

TELL THEM AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE.
But dont push your limits, because then they can arrest you. The bottom line is, they dont give a **** because they get paid by taxes, and not on good merits.

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somebody say something

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I agree with telling them as little as possible, but within reason. Last summer, I was shooting a 16mm film in an apartment complex in Toluca Lake, just outside of Hollywood. When I applied for the permit, I was asked where I would be shooting, and I said the elevator. I was then asked whether I would be inside the elevator, and I said yes. I was denied the permit. I went to another part of the building and told them I wouldn't be filming inside the elevator and my permit was approved. I went ahead and shot the film inside the elevator. Whatever.

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maybe if you drop a big name somehow, and hint at how much publicity it would gain the town...that could help, right?

www.billparkermovie.com It's groin Grabbingly hilarious.

11+ short films to view now, all original (except for music) and all hilarious!
www.billparkermovie.com