Hey All,

So i'm lookin to make my first short film, I have the ways my characters should die (somewhat original hopefully =P) but NO STORY!! This was my first scene: (rough copy of course)


SCRIPT

SCENE 1

INT. Around a table with a Ouija board.

(3 FRIENDS ARE SITTING AROUND A TABLE USING A OUIJA BOARD TRYING TO SUMMON A SPIRIT. WHEN THEY FIND ONE IT HAS DISASTEROUS EFFECTS)

(FRIENDS ALL PLACE FINGERS ON POINTER OF OUIJA BOARD)

SALLY:
We summon any spirit in the room, contact us via this board!!

JOEL:
Guys this is gay...This isn't gonna work!

SALLY:
Just shut up and co-operate!
Is there a spirit in the room?

(POINTER MOVES TO YES)

SALLY:
Are you male or female??

(POINTER SPELLS OUT MALE)

JOEL:
Are you evil?

(JOEL LAUGHS. POINTER GOES TO YES. ALL FREEZE)

SALLY:
(Scared) Errr.... What is your name?

(POINTER SPELLS OUT "THE MASTER")

JOEL:
*LAUGHING* The Master?!?! Hahaha, like what a karate master?!?

(THE LIGHT GOES OUT, THE POINTER FLIES ACROSS THE ROOM. ALL SIT IN SHOCK AS AN EVIL SCREAM IS HEARD ACROSS THE ROOM. JOEL AND SALLY REALISE THAT ALICIA HAS HAD HER HEAD DOWN THE WHOLE TIME)

SALLY:
Alicia?? Dont be an idiot! Whats wrong?

JOEL:
You scared or somethin?? Big baby

SALLY:
Joel! Don't be a ****!! I think somethins seriously up with her... Alicia!!! Talk to me! Put your head up!!

(SALLY REACHES OUT TO TOUCH ALICIA. ALICIA SUDDENLY FLINGS HER HEAD UP. BLOOD IS DROOLING FROM HER MOUTH, THERE ARE VISIBLE MARKS WHERE BLOOD HAS RUN FROM HER EYES ON HER FACE. SHE SUDDENLY LETS OUT THE SAME SCREAM THAT WAS HEARD AFTER THE POINTER FLEW ACROSS THE ROOM)

(FADEOUT TO TITLE)


I'd also wanna have someone die when they leave the house in shock going through a graveyard and for some reason it goes dark or somewhat (maybe an eclipse?) And we hear a high pitched scream as one of the female characters dies, but not show it straight away, coz I wanna have suspense in this film.... =P

Any ideas at all? All comments, constructive criticism, ideas are GREATLY appreciated!!! If anyone is interested in helping me develop the script send me a email at This_Name_Was_Taken@hotmail.com

Cheers All!

Jimmy

Well, I will say that it's really predictable but god, do I love the idea. I think good acting could really pull this off. The pointer spelling out the word "yes" to the question "Are you evil" is so cliche its awesome. Just make it really really scary to keep people from laughing.