Mitchell - Age: 16, New to the school and sees injustices easily and stands up for the little man. Easily offended, impressionable.

Tony – Age 16, Veteran of the school and knows what happens and who is in control and who to go to for resources. Right-hand man. Follower not leader, Brains, Timid, Can’t stand up for himself but eventually does.

Ramone – Age 17, his father is the president CEO and because of his importance the teacher’s fear him as his father is just as corrupt as the son. Ramone is surrounded by large jocks at all times and has his fingers in everything in the school, he has his own business in the school where he steals school exams and assignments and sells them for a price. He is ruthless; if he is ever crossed the person would be beat up or even framed and expelled or both.

LOUIS. –Age 17 Ramone’s right hand man, always seen eating a lollypop. He is extremely loyal to Ramone and is just as ruthless as he is.

PLOT-Upon arriving to a new school he discovers that there is a student who has power over the entire school even the principal.
He befriends Tony who shows him the ropes, and how the corrupt school works.
After seeing the injustices Mitchell and Tony starts a revolution and even converts some of Ramone’s gang to his own with this new lust for power he becomes the new king of the school. Ramone sees that Mitchell is becoming powerful and tries to expel him but Mitchell remains one step ahead and links some illegal equipment giving the principal no choice but to expel Ramone.
The students and teachers are so used to answering to the number one student so Mitchell assumes that position and makes a fresh start doing good but sooner or later his mind becomes overpowered with power and Tony doesn’t like this and Mitchell and Tony have a fight and he beats Tony to a pulp. After Mitchell realises he is a jerk. The downfall begins and LOUIS comes back fore revenge and takes down Mitchell with his gang he has being secretly creating and Mitchell sees himself for what he has become (a bully, which is what he was trying to beat when he started).

Scene 1

Location: Some alley behind classrooms

We see a wall for about 5 seconds then out of nowhere we see a kid get thrown against the wall by an unknown person. The angle changes to show the wall on left and we see the bully’s fist punching the kid although we do not see his face.

Bully: I saw your last test results for science; you did surprising well considering your mental capacity. Now you owe me some money, where is it?
Kid: I’m telling you man I don’t have it OK, Dont hit me again please!
Bully: Ok I wont…
Kid: Thank you, thank you
Bully: LOUIS (nods to Louis).


The rest of the scene is just music fading in, with the kid getting beat up by the gang and LOUIS. as we see the main bully walking away.

LOUIS: If anyone asks you fell down some stairs.

Then we camera shows a close up of the back of his head and then he slowly turns around to smile… (To see his face as the kid is screaming)
The music comes to full volume it cuts to the opening credits then after short credits it cuts back to the gang walking away from the kid who is beaten to a pulp.


Scene 2

Location: There is a principals office with a desk

The camera pans around the desk slowly as the two characters talk who are the principal and Mitchell. The panning is continuous for the whole scene

Prin: …Today is week B so your first class is chemistry, be quick to catch your first period.
Mitch: Yeah thanks, why don’t you pop over and have some coffee we live nearby mum would like that.
Prin: Oh if its one thing I know is not to disturb my sister when she is stressed I trust the moving would have taken a lot out of everyone I’ll let you all settle in first.
Mitch: Ok thanks, I best be going now see you later.
Prin: Ok tell your mother I said hi



Scene 3

Location: From the office to the vending machines

it is a long shot of Mitch leaving the office and walking outside to the vending machines, the camera follows him from behind.
When he reaches the vending machine there are a sequence of close up shots on each button he presses to get the drink. Then when he grabs the drink he walks off towards his next class.

One of the bully’s partners shoves Mitchell and takes his drink.

Guy: Hey, thanks (takes sip from the drink)
Mitch: HEY! What the hell! GET YOUR OWN!

Mitch grabs the guy’s shirt and is about to throw a punch, at this time the rest of the gang emerges from the corner including the main bully and crowd around Mitch.

Bully: What’s going on here
Mitch: He stole my drink
Ramone: Well my friend here is thirsty, and if he wants your drink he can take it.
Mitch: Who the hell do you think you are?
Ramone: (laughter) you must be new, I am Ramone and this is my world. Do what I say and you won’t get hurt.
Mitch: You can’t own a school!
Ramone: Of course I can. (Nods to Louis)
LOUIS punches Mitch in the stomach and he falls to ground
Ramone: Welcome to my school
the whole gang walks away
Mitch is still lying on the ground and a shadow appears over him and a voice appears.
Tony: Are you alright?
Mitch: yeah who was that guy?
Tony: wait, come with me
Mitch gets up with tonys help and they start walking down the path, they talk as they walk
Tony: Ramone Salasar, i was once one of his men.
Mitch: oh ok why is he such jerk?
Tony: he seems to think he runs this school and it seems like he does will all the operations he has
Mitch: what operations?
Tony: illegal futures exam copies, bribing, loan sharking all that jazz
Mitch: righty-0 Mitch: umm where are we going?
Tony:



Ok so tell me what you think so far?

amazing, thats all I can say

I wasn't at all impressed by the script. It starts out with a ton of dialogue, cheesy dialogue. Talking heads are for plays, not movies. It's also a very cliche storyline, with the characters also very cliche. It's a manageable story though, considering it's based off highschool students but that's really the only positive I was able to find, and in my opinion that's a cop out, not a positive. Just keep writing though, and see where the story ends up. If you keep with it, you'll really notice your writing improving over the years.