[i just came up with the idea..its been tackling me..regarding my relationship with god, etc..waiting for feedbacks.

FADE IN.
INT. BAR - NIGHT
ADAM, 40, sitting on a stool with a cigarette hanging down his mouth. He forces the drink down his throat as he is unable to look straight ahead. He looks at the bartender.
ADAM
Today is the first day I ever had a drink, and the first day to realize how big of a bum I am.
Bartender tries to hold his head up as he is about to fall.
ADAM (CONT'D)
I believed her lies, and the one before her and the one before her. Same **** over and over. Everyone lies to everyone. Parents lie to their children, and they wonder why their children grow up to be weird. Governments lie to their people, and then wonder why there is so much chaos. People try so hard to compromise to please other people and change them...
BARTENDER
Adam, maybe you should go man...

ADAM (CONT'D)
No one can really change unless they really want to change. Can you force someone to believe in your beliefs? People are so fake and liars to get what they want today, if you are an honest man, you don't belong here...you won't survive. Life is just a big chain of lies tied together.
ADAM attempts to stand up and walk out of the bar. His hands are on the side to stop himself from stumbling.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
ADAM walking alone in a dark street, no one around, not even a hiss of sound.
ADAM
I, too am a liar...But my lie is much bigger than anyone else's. People lie to each other, but i lie to you...I act like a priest...this is wrong, this is right. Torturing my soul and everyone with me...All of this is a lie. You know what's true? Is I like to sin...And trying to avoid it is just because i am afraid. Afraid that you will throw me in hell. But what if there is no Heaven and Hell, would i still do the same things?
ADAM stumbles on a rock, but he holds himself up.
ADAM (CONT'D)
I realized after all this time is that i don't really know you. I just know some rules, commandments, do's and don't's. But I don't know you. All those people in churches, mosques, or even in the street talk about you but don't really know you. Those say praying is most important, and those say being good to others is more important, and those who say other things. You never came for me when i needed you, i was told always to be patient...but i waited too long. In the end we all talk about you without knowing you.
ADAM looks further up at the sky.
ADAM (CONT'D)
I confess, I fast, and I pray, but I DON'T LOVE YOU.
ADAM starts to cry and slowly falls to his knees.
ADAM (CONT'D)
I am always afraid of you...I AM ALWAYS AFRAID OF YOU !
ADAM looks back up as he can't control his tears.
ADAM (CONT'D)
I wish to love you...i wish i can love you like you were my father...
ADAM stares at the sky for a moment, then he finds himself comfortably laying down on the road.
DISSOLVE TO:
ADAM faded away from where he was laying down. Then the sky is clear from any clouds.
DISSOLVE TO:
ADAM's face is clear of any worries and his heart is content.
FADE OUT.

While you might have the best intentions, I have a feeling this might be something that satisfies you more than it will the audience. I think this would fit well in a feature film you'd make, but it wouldn't really be possible to get this to stand up on its own.

I know half the people won't really read between the lines of your dialogue, and watching a drunkard stumble out of a bar isn't that suspenseful...half of me was waiting for him to get hit by a truck or something. But that's just me, and I'm aethiest. And a drunkard.

thanks for the reply
i know what you mean..but i still feel like ..its more of a statment than a film with a begining, middle, and end..its a msg everyone can realate to..thats why inamed the person ADAM..it can be good on its on..its a mans reflection to events in his life..we dont have to see..we can hear his story..

I think 'with a actor like' Stellan Skarsgård, you'd have a great piece of self-loathing and verbal spitting anger.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001745/

Check out his performance in this short film below and understand that what you wrote isn't bad, i've written pages of this stuff, but you just need a intro such as the aftermath of a insult, and some end pressure such as a vehicle approaching his laid out body on the road as po po said.

Powder Keg - directed by Alejandro González Iñárritu
File Size: 125 Mb
Running Time: 8:14

Powder Keg - Download PC
http://a177.ch1.akamai.net/7/177/8123/v001/fallon.downl...ds/Powder_WMP_PC.exe

Powder Keg - Download Mac
http://a177.ch1.akamai.net/7/177/8123/v001/fallon.downl...s/Powder_WMP_MAC.sit

so i guess avant u thought it was good?
i want an older guy to play that part

i feel if i ad one conflict in the begining then thats a cheap way for me to justify what he is sayin..idk

Yes, there's nothing wrong it, starting out with a portrait of his face or a simple slam of his shot glass, or even better a pov of his guts, red and wet, up his throat and camera vomit out of his month, but that's not gonna happen, unless you have some smart editing tricks up your sleeve with a couple of 3D shots to boot. But it could be done. Anyway...

When he stumbles on the rock how about maybe, he does fall, hit's the ground face down, cut on his forehead, can't seem to get up again, while continuing to rant/express himself/whisper, almost passes out, fight's it and flips himself over with all his energy.... now laying on his back,

cont.

ADAM stares at the sky. The sky is clear from any clouds.
ADAM's face slowly relaxes and... etc.

Maybe the people he sees give off for a moment, a demonic appearance, their eyes, or a reflection in a mirror, glass. Something that represents their sins in his mind.

I'm only having fun, as if we were bouncing ideas off each other so, I guess, just continue as you have done so far and it will write itself.

Did you enjoy the movie?

thats good avant..i am enjoying some of your feedback..keep going..im likeing the fact he sees the clouds go clear..thats good