so, i had this (what i thought was great) idea that i wanted to put down as a script. except it was just so hard to communicate it properly and when i managed to do it, it just seemed so cliche and cheesy (disgustingly)... ill just put up the first bits of the script up and allow you to make your own minds up about it, is it too predictable and a 'been-done' type of thing? and also advice on how to change it is welcome, thanks.

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM. DAY
A dimly lit room with a single chair in the center, in it a figure is sits motionless and unconscious. The only source of light is a faint bulb on the ceiling behind the chair.
Black screen with white font reading
“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
George Santayana (1863 - 1952)”
Writing fades. The black screen slowly focuses to a dusty wooden floor. A key can be heard turning in a lock somewhere behind the camera and a thin beam of light appears across the floor. The beam of light widens across the floor as the door is heard creaking open. A shadow of an adult (X) appears in the ray of light. The sound of X’s shoes are heard as the light cast across the floor decreases and the door closes. The camera follows X’s shoes until they stop. The camera tilts upwards until the right side of X’s lower leg is visible. The camera then moves around towards the back of X and the legs of a wooden chair are visible only slightly because X is blocking it. X moves to the left of the chair in order to walk around it and as he does so the camera moves up so the whole of the chair is visible and a figure can be seen lifeless and tied down. The figures head is resting to their left side so that their long hair covers their face. X moves around to the back of the chair and putting his/her hands on the chair leans in towards the figure. X’s face is in shadow and no distinct features can be seen. X breathes close to the figures ear then after a while whispers.
X
How far back can you remember?
The figure stirs but doesn’t respond.
X
How. Far. Back?
Olive (the figure in the chair) moves so that her full face can be seen and she has small cuts in her temples and the blood that trickles from them is still fresh. Heavily drugged Olive strains to open her eyes and mutters something whilst trying to move her head but wincing at the pain.
X
[Impatiently] How far back can you remember?
FLASHBACK. EXT. WOODS. DAY
A group of five teenagers are messing around and pushing each other further in one direction, suddenly they all hush and whisper excitedly. Olive is pushed forwards.
TEENAGER 1
Go on, you said you wanted to see what was sown here.
TEENAGER 2
She won’t, she’s all talk.
OLIVE
This isn’t a game, there’s really some weird s*** going on here. I’m not sure about this anymore.
TEENAGER 2
So you bailing then? It’s just over there, just go touch the fence, and if you get abducted then we’ll tell your ma you won’t be home for tea.
The group laughs, OLIVE turns behind her to where TEENAGER 2 was pointing. Her curiosity gets the better of her.
OLIVE
Will you all just shut up then!
The group muffles their laughs and whispers. OLIVE makes her way slightly further into the woods until she reaches a fence with a yellow warning sign on it
“WARNING No Trespassing – Photography Prohibited Military Installation”.
She pulls back some overgrowth off the fence and looks through the wire. Straining to see further she is grabbed by a gloved hand and pulled into the undergrowth. The group behind her scream and frantically run from the area.
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM. DAY
X is still leaning over OLIVE. X straightens and paces slightly.
X
What did you see?
PAUSE – OLIVE doesn’t respond, still heavily drugged.
X repeats the question.
FLASHFORWARD. EXT. WOODS. DAY
The same image of her pulling back the overgrowth is repeated.
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM. DAY
X
But you saw something else. What did you see?
X becomes agitated. OLIVE shakes her head
X
What did you see!
MIX OF LIGHTS AND FLASHES – AN UNCLEAR PICTURE FADES INTO A BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT.

It sounds good.... but it rings bells all over the place. I thought of 1984 when I read the gloved hand and X in the interrogation room.
These aspects can be excused IF you have a decnt twist/hook/story though, so I'd keep working! Good luck

thanks. i've only used X because the name of the person is irrelevant and i dont want to specify the gender, it could be anything really.
but, uh, im not familiar with 1984?

If I were you, I'd read the novel by Orwell (sp?) then the movie. It works so much better in the mind. It was made in '84 so the effects are top notch

Just based on the epigraph, I would say it's pretty trite. If you're going to a gimmick movie based on a "surprise" don't give it away in the first frame, and make sure it's original.

Theres alot of writing about camera angles etc. leave that for the director.