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Freshman
Posted
I really hate these things ...

'A young woman’s violent nightmares slowly reveal the truth of her mother’s murder, and the man with the most to lose, her father, uses his Washington influence to hunt her down.'

www.alexwhitmer.wordpress.com
 
Posts: 31 | Location: Lima Peru | Registered: May 28, 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Administrator
Picture of Josh
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Okay.

What is it that you need help with?
 
Posts: 2261 | Location: Boston | Registered: September 18, 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Freshman
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Posts: 120 | Location: South Africa | Registered: November 29, 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Junior
Picture of REDking
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I'm assuming that's your logline and you're just wanting us to crtique it.

So I think it's good but I think the part "and the man with the most to lose, her father" reveals a bit too much. You clould almost go with just "A young woman’s violent nightmares slowly reveal the truth of her mother’s murder"
 
Posts: 579 | Location: Killafornia | Registered: July 02, 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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