Hello guys, I've been very busy lately, as some of you may know, & I am in this competition, competing against 10 other texans for $1000 and the chance to compete in New York for the finals. Thing is, I have all the equipment, recources, ect. at hand, but my team is really stuck on our script. It's very tough, but we've come up with a start. I'm good with rymes, but I'm not sure how much the judges will like this. I have to film this weekend, the 6-7th. And I have to submit in exactly 1 week from now.

The genre: Ryming movie Topic: A strange clown preforms at a party and does magic.

Please read what I have and help me decide what magic the clown could do, and if maybe a twist could be involved, I know I'll have to be special in order to advance.


Opening scene:

Title sequence, “Tricky the clown”

Audio- police chatter (not fully inteligable), “This is another reminder to look out for aka tricky the clown, driving a red suv, who we belive..”

Opening shot, 5 little girls around a hampster cage, watching it go on the wheel.

Camera circles 5 girls, as they watch the hampster.
One girl: “I’m hungry”

Kelly the birthday girl leaves to the kitchen

Cam now on Chris (kelly’s bro) who walks out of the hall, looking at the girls

Chris- “Man they need a clown..to raise the roof”
Chris picks up phone from kitchen & starts to dial, continues.. “and I need my girl..to raise my..”

Cutaway, to Chris’s mom cooking hot dogs, Kelly getting her attention
Kelly: “Mommy mommy, me want chips.”
Mom (nods, then looks to dad): “Honey..could you get the dip?”
(CU of dad, on couch watching TV)
Dad- “Quiet Miss”
(Zooms out, as dad points to ass)
“Come scratch this itch..”
(Kelly is at dad’s side, complaining )
“Why in the hell did I even have kids”

Cutaway to Clown, in the car stuck in traffic

Clown- HONK “MOVE, *****, get out the way! I got 5 minutes to get to this kids birthday! When I’m finally done with this birthday bash, I’ll get my cash and go smoke some hash.”

Chris talks to his girlfriend on phone:


Girl- “So how’s the party, is Michele having a fun time?”
Chris- “Yeah, thank god it’s summertime... Baby you know your mine, come one girl let’s cut the crap, you and I tonight in the sack..
Girl- “Ohh, an offer I can’t refuse.”
Chris- “It’s one I wouldn't want you to.”
Girl- “Great, when does it end again?”
Chris- “I think 8, so just pick her up then.”
Girl- “I’ll be picking you up too.”

Chris, happy, runs to his room in song
“Gonna do it, gonna slap my dick across her.. FA-AACE, gonna do it right, I’m gonna take Courtney, slap her ASS, gonna ma-aake her...wan’t my wrinkly dick.. SLAMS DOOR

Chris- “After today I won’t need masturbation, cause right now I’m heading to penetration.”

Clown pulls up on driveway, and he rings the bell.

Missing parts
Everyone is happy, but they see that the clown sucks at his tricks, and soon they throw chips at him, angering his alter-ego.

good- “You came here to make them laugh, you love them..” bad ego- “kill them all, they’ve taken the last straw.”
All the girls “Make me this!” “Make me a cat” “Make me a horse”
bad ego “We can’t take it anymore..”
Clown starts to blow up something, the kids “oohh”
The baloon turns into a knife, and the girls yell and run away.
The dad gets up and tries to stop him, he gets stabbed. Chris calls 911. And tries to get all the girls out of the back of the house. Kelly and Michell are missing, he looks for them and the clown has taken them outside, he speeds off with them. The cops arrive, and Chris and them chase the clown, bringing the dad who is wounded.

NOTE- I have stock footage of my friend with his suv crashing into a house on my street(nonfatal), which I plan to mix in, with shots of the same suv which has been repaired. Somehow I plan to have the clown crash, and die because he is in the front, while Michell and kelly are alright, as they are riding in the back. Somehow, Chris and his dad have to stop the car, or make them crash/stop. This is because Chris won’t get laid unless he saves Michell and the dad will be in trouble because kelly is in danger. Both girls are safe, and the friendships are reunited. The clown has to be magical somehow, maybe it’s how he has split personalitites.

I am open to any type of suggestion. Even a compltely new script will be apreciated, this one doesn't have much depth, but it is pretty funny. Thanks for the help.

Were you on acid while writing this? Those rymes were actually pretty good, I laughed all the way through. Very good stuff..

I like this one, this could look really good and funny on camera;
Chris, happy, runs to his room in song
“Gonna do it, gonna slap my dick across her.. FA-AACE, gonna do it right, I’m gonna take Courtney, slap her ASS, gonna ma-aake her...wan’t my wrinkly dick..

--------------------
TacoWagonProductions
--------------------

"I'm a ThunderHead and proud of it!"

Thanks, I need all the support I can get. I think I came up with an idea. Maybe the dad somehow gets in the clown's suv, and the clown does'nt know about it, as he kidnapps kelly and Michell. He gets out his cell phone, and calls chris:

Chris- "Dad? Where are you?"
Dad- "Chris, I'm inside the clowns car, I could'nt let him get away, and I'm really weak now, but I had to do something."
Chris- "Your risking your life!"
Dad- "If Kelly gets hurt, I'm going to get a divorce anyway, then my life's over, I've been a horrible dad too long."
Chris- "Don't say that, you were just lazy, that's all. I hope you and kelly are okay, but if michell doesn't get home safe tonight, I'm not going to go with Courtney and.."
Dad- "And what? What won't you get to do?"
Chris- "Nothing, we were just going to do it.."
Dad- "That's it! I know what i'm going to do?"
Chris- "Dad, don't put yourself in danger, just stay quiet."
Dad- "Trust me son, there comes a time in every man's life, where he has to choose to make a sacrifice, in order to get his son laid. This is one of those times."
Chris-"I love you dad."
Dad- "As long as your strait."
Chris-"Don't worry about that.."
Dad- "Oh, and Chris?"
Chris- "Yes dad?"
Dad- "Your best bet is up the"
Camera cuts to chris, we don't know what the last word was.
Chris- "Will do, goodbye dad."

Cut to inside the suv, Clown talks about his plans
"You know what girls, We're going to go to the bridge now, you wanna know why?"
Girl- "Your a clown, why are you doing this?"
Clown- "Wrong answare, I'm going to run this car right off of it, that's why."
Girls look scared.
Girl- Daddy, where are you?
Dad- Kelly, i'm right here, be very quiet and scoot over.
Kelly scoots over.
Clown- What are you doing back there(to girls)
Girls hug eachother.
Dad crawls to the passenger side from the back, and then sees a rope in the front seat.
He quietly tells kelly to buckle up, and then waits a few seconds.
Clown(Good)- Good job, always remember to buckle up.
Clown(bad)- That won't help you for where we're going.
Dad tries to reach the rope, but he can't. All of the sudden he jumps up to the front seat. And grabs the clown (this is very dangerous, and I need sugestions on how to film it without anyone crashing.) He strangles him with the rope, but the clown pulls out a knife, and tries to stab him while driving.
clown- You just made a big mistake.
(how can I make them fight for the wheel and not have anyone in danger?)

The dad turns the wheel, and the
clown yells:
You idiot!
Clown(good)- Thank you.

They crash into the house, but only the front of the car was totalled, and kelly & michell are okay. Chris shows up, courtney shows up, police tell him dad is dead, ect. I don't know how to end it, but chris is still happy that he's getting the girl.

other questions:
car fight-
this is very dangerous, and I need sugestions on how to film it without anyone crashing.
split personalitites-
I have another actor that can play the bad side of him, and am thinking of importing a few frames of him ontop of the real clown(with my green screen), every now and then, need help on how I should do that.
At the party-
I need some more things at the party the clown does as tricks, all before he gets very angry.
ex- the clown is fat, and snacks can be served. At one point the snacks instantly disapear.

- Any change in the format, or any line of dialogue would be apreciated, as well as feedback on the script's crazy pacing.

reminds me of a song off ICP's 6th jokers card "The Wraith; Shangri La" Track 5 is a birthday clown song thats funny as hell...

it starts with the mom talking about how the birthday clown has a presents and surprises for everyone then shaggy comes in:

"i got your F U C K I N present hangin next to my nutz

now when im swingin on my hatchet if it hits you it cuts

dont make me chop your head in half and smack the side with the cheek, because i havent had my mell-o-all in almost a week

your F U C K I N momma brought me here to entertain your asss, so no matter what im doin i expect you to laugh, so when you see me do a trick...even if it it isint funny....gimme props unless you want your little necks bloody

i could probably do a cartwheel or sumthin if you move the couch, but that aint what im F U C K I N about

i could sew your mouth shut and pump air in through your nose and F U C K I N pop your head, but we'd get blood on our cloths

LOOK im a wicked clown i aint no F U C K I N superhero i aint that big and scarry though i fight like little ray mysterio,

im quick to beat down all you little b|tches right in front of your moms and if the b|tch gets heated tell her BRING IT ON!