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This message has been edited. Last edited by: Hall,
 
Posts: 131 | Location: Neenah | Registered: January 15, 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Freshman
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I can't speak for everyone, but I certainly have no interest in taking people's ideas- I'd feel to guilty and enjoy coming up with my own stories. Post a summary of your script and you're sure to get some sort of feedback. Good Luck.
 
Posts: 85 | Location: Washington DC | Registered: July 05, 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Moderator
Picture of titaniumdoughnut
AIM: Online Status For thegoldencheddar
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It's the internet. Anyone can read it. There is no such thing as security or privacy. That said, you're probably fine.


| PerryKroll.com | TRC | "If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled." Wodehouse
 
Posts: 5197 | Location: Tisch at New York University | Registered: June 03, 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Junior
Picture of Mike Jones of Green Sky Productions
AIM: Online Status For Mikesgrounded
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My advice... get active on here make some more posts before you just come here and want opinions. Too many people come here and ask us what we think then just leave and never come back. Mean it in the nicest way possible but the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE it first.


---------------------------
-K Duce-
(Formerly Mike Of Green Sky Productions)

Self expression is a window to the heavens...
 
Posts: 499 | Location: Westland, Michigan | Registered: January 03, 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Freshman
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I garuntee you I'll be active on here, so you can give your opinion.
 
Posts: 131 | Location: Neenah | Registered: January 15, 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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I think it might have been just a tad over written, but I must say, I enjoy the wordy description far more than the typical cliched and under-written exposition I typically see in student scripts. I actually saw these scenes, and that's a good thing.


| PerryKroll.com | TRC | "If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled." Wodehouse
 
Posts: 5197 | Location: Tisch at New York University | Registered: June 03, 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Moderator
Picture of titaniumdoughnut
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One simple rule is that a page of script (written in proper format - google it) is equal to a minute of time. So, read the script out loud and average the time per page and see if it equals roughly one minute. I do think you've got too much description, but its (mostly) good description, that conveyed images in my head. It's just a bit too wordy.


| PerryKroll.com | TRC | "If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled." Wodehouse
 
Posts: 5197 | Location: Tisch at New York University | Registered: June 03, 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Sophomore
Picture of Palm Tree Armada
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I like it. I don't think its too wordy. My only caution would be that it seems like it could descend VERY easily into a kid walking around feeling lonely for 90 minutes. Don't let that happen. Let's get some real action going. Maybe you've got some place you want to go with the character, and thats great, but start getting there soon. Feature length isn't about longer scenes, it's about having a more complex and interesting story line.

Again, I like it so far. Good luck!


Actors? What actors?
 
Posts: 301 | Location: Hollywood | Registered: August 02, 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Freshman
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Hey .. sometimes they come back! :P

I'm really impressed with your writing. You've got a real knack for it. If the script thing doesn't work out for you maybe head into journalism as a back up.

Like Palm Tree said, though, make sure it goes somewhere soon. Put a conflict in there that gets resolved in some way (oldest formula in the book, I know, but like the pie in the face it will always work).

And don't worry about your stuff getting stolen. After enough years go by you may find yourself WISHING someone would steal your stuff.

If you're creative you will keep coming up new things. There will always be your next project. Eventually (if you continue creating), you will one day reclaim what was stolen any ways.

Take it or leave it, a little advice from an old man.

Looking good!
 
Posts: 90 | Location: Detroit, MI | Registered: December 06, 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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