Hi everyone. I am applying to some colleges in Ontario. First of all I just came from South Asia. So I don't know much about places and people here. Second of all I am not good at English. I have written some previously but never in English. I am terrified even with my English proficiency test let alone my scriptwriting capability.

I just wrote a short and I cry out to you please help me by reading and assessing this material. I don't even know if I can submit this kind of material for admission application. So please help me out guys.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: srayfan,

Hello again. I am surprised to see no reply for the post. Please guys help me out here..

I think a large amount of inventiveness involved in writing a script is developing interesting and original characters. By using pre-developed Kevin Smith characters in a character driven film, you sorta cheat the process.

It seems like you've got a pretty good handle on writing humor so maybe if you create some new, interesting characters you could have a killer script.

Yeah, I agree. And mostly I think your script has no story. And I don't personally care how cool your characters are or how clever you think the dialogue is if there's no story holding it together.

The problem is you're relying on the awesomeness of the dialogue to pull the reader in to the script -- but the dialogue is actually very tired and typical.

By the way, your own experiences and the characters in your own life, are as valid to write about and as interesting as those in Kevin Smith's life.

I know this is negative feedback, but don't take it personally and don't give up on your ideas. Just write more.

There are tons of formatting errors along with grammatical errors.

Go for a second draft.

Work on the dialogue. Nobody talks like that.

Thank you guys for these posts. I think I understand what you're talking about. I was expecting more harsh statements, so I am kind of encouraged. I'd love more feedbacks.