I just came up with a script idea that I wanted some input on, if anyone would to like to give me some. I'm not posting the script, just the synopsis. If it is horribly cliched, or just plain stupid, let me know, I'm not married to it, just thought it would be a fun little short, like 5 minutes or less.

It's about a food delivery man, and it would all take place on a college campus (all the deliveries would be to dorms or college apartments). There would be a few scenes showing the delivery man recieving bad treatment from customers, getting poor tips, and basically just showing how his job really sucks. Then in the last delivery scene, a delivery woman would be shown delivering to some apartment across the street from where he was going. Their strides would be the same, the way the dress would be similiar, and they would knock on the doors in the exact same way/rythm (a way of showing they are meant for eachother). The identical knocking would cause them to notice eachother (they did not see eachother prior to this), and they would fall in love at first sight. They would run towards eachother and meet in some loving embrace, spin around, etc. I think that would be the end, but I was also thinking of having a last scene where they answer a door together to get food from another delivery person. The whole thing would be without dialouge, just music. Tell me if this is a bad idea or not, or anything that might make it better. Thanks

There should be some conflict, otherwise there's just no point to telling the story, and if it's a love story his having a sh!tty job isn't terribly relevant. Sure, okay, they're meant for each other, and then what? Maybe they work at competing stores and aren't "allowed" to go out with each other by their bosses (romeo/juliet-type thing).
Maybe one of them hates the other at first and something happens that brings them together (one of them orders pizza while at home and the deliverer finds that they both like the same pizza). I hope you're writing this down. Forget that "my job sucks" thing, that's the deadly cliche (I'm not even gonna go into the "running across the field, we're oh-so-in-love" thing, hopefully that was an exaggeration. trust me, unless it's totally tongue-in-cheek nobody will find it funny). Maybe he takes his job very, very seriously and she brings a lightheartedness to delivering pizza that he didn't think of, so he tries it out, finding that people who once avoided him now react more nicely.
The identical knocking thing is cute, but don't make it the focus of the movie, it should be a nice little background thing that the audience can catch only if they're paying attention. And if you're not "married" to the idea, f*cking get married. It's a good idea and a fun premise that if done well could make a great calling card. Good luck.

Hey, thanks for the great reply. You really made me think about alot in the idea, and I'm seriously taking alot of your advice, especially the conflict thing, because you are definately right about that. I'm gonna work on it and make it actually be a story, not just a stupid meaningless sequence of scenes. I'll post again when I work it out and make it better. Thanks again.

Yes--I think the sequence with music idea is really good, even if you turn it into a proper story with a proper plot, I think dialogue would kill the idea.

Glad you liked those comments, hoyafilm, good luck. Keep us updated, man.

I think it'd be interesting to see this done stylistically as a 20's era silent film. Think Charlie Chaplin. It could have it's comic and dramatic moments and all that great over acting for the camera. just a thought