I'm looking to submit this film to a couple of festivals:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gsQpFe19-c


I will obviously be gearing toward festivals that like horror. And the festivals I enter in will probably be small ones (such as the Sacramento Horror Fest

My question is, what are all of your opinions on how it might do? Should I save my entry-fee money and just move on to my next production? Are there scenes in the short that need some definate improvements (that can actually be improved)?

There are some shots that I'll definately be changing. For example, when he sees the tape role across the ground. Everyone who sees the film always asks about that part (its terribly lit, and you're supposed to see a deformed hand slide of the counter). I'll either reshoot that shot, or replace it with something that makes more sense.

So, any thoughts?

Anybody?

I've assembled this list of possible festivals (Withoutabox is awesome).

-Chicago Horror Festival
-Dragon*Con Independent Short Film Festival
-Evil City Film Fest
-Horror Fest UK
-Pencil Head's DUSK TIL DAWN Film Fest
-Sacramento Horror Film Festival
-ShockerFest International Film Festival
-The Thriller! Chiller! Film Festival
-Toronto After Dark: Horror, Sci-Fi, Fantasy and Thrilling Film Festival

Hm I noticed a few cuts that seemed to have small issues with timing. Very minute, but it still does a little damage to the pacing.
Im going to watch it again without a critical mindset and let you know what I think. I didnt really get to pay attention to the story or the mood because I was looking for things to scrutinize. So allow me to try again and you will hear from me

Thanks!

I THINK I know what cuts you're referring to...

But still, let me know.

Well I definitely did like some of your shots and am curious how you managed to get some of those shots in such low lighting situations.
My biggest comment would be that there are several talented composers on the site that you could take advantage of. Also there are a few issues in the suspense building process that need to be worked out. I think when the guy runs into the room and barricades the door and the lights go out it would be an appropriate time to add those creepy voice sound effects. Also when he is scrubbing the bathroom floor I think there needs to be more sounds coming from the ventilation shaft in order to motivate him to investigate.
Overall I think you could cut a lot out and raise the suspense stakes a lot higher.

1) What low light shots would you be referring to?

2) I've given serious thought to adding music. The only real reason I didn't before is because I'm musically challenged and didn't have anyone capable of composing. One thing I do like, though, is that not having music seems (at least to me) to give a more...gritty feel. Make it slightly more real. But I'll probably try getting a composer to score it, and see which version I like better.

3) I've actually struggled with cutting the entire thing down. The current version has already been stripped of a large scene and multiple shots (the original was 12 minutes). Ive tried to find more places to cut it down, but whenever I do it seems to actually lose tension. And I kind of like that it takes over half the movie for anything to really happen, like Jaws, or Alien (no, I'm not comparing myself to those masterpieces, just citing a cinematic style, haha). Still, I'd love to know what areas you think could use some trimming!

3) Would you say, if I went through and did some clean up, it'd be worth the festival entry fees? Or would I be wasting my money?

4) The guy is me! Lesson: don't direct and star in your first short. Very Dumb.

One of the low light shots I was referring to was the first one of the car pulling up. Also another shot that intrigued me was one in which the screen was completely dark except your vague outline in a dimly lit doorway. Then you reach over and flip on a light switch and the entire screen is flooded with white walls but the exposure manages to keep steady not have a panic attack. Its at 3:35 on the youtube clip.

Honestly I felt like it could end after the shot where you drop the flashlight. If you throw in the voice sound effect from the existing ending shot in the car I think it would be much more intense. Because the last two minutes after that shot are just you running out of the building.

What exactly are you trying to get out of the film festivals? Awards beneath your belt? Money?

I'm more or less looking to understand the entire process, but I'd like to see my short get selected at least once. Nobody enters a festival hoping they don't get selected. I don't care if I win (though I wouldn't mind...), but I should start to get a feel for the whole system.

As for the low light shots - the first one, with the car, was caught right during the magic hour. The lighting was really perfect for that one. You can see, in the shot when he actaully gets out of the car, the lighting is dimmer. No more magic hour (still visable, though). The other one, where he enters the room, I got to work by turning on the light in the stairway, which was soft and dim enough to give just the right amount of backlighting. The camera was set to full auto, and we had a shot. I think, for not having any secondary lighting, most shots turned out pretty good.

I'll definately try cutting out the last 2 minutes. I really don't like the shot of him running to the car anyways (had 3 minutes of tape and 5 minutes of battery left, so I only got 1 take). Though, I was going to add in a shot, once he gets outside, just out of the door and kind of looks off to the side - there is the really creepy alley that has perfect blue lighting at night - I was going to have multiple of the little shadow creatures moving towards him down in the alley. I haven't done the shot, but had planned to and still could.

Still, I'll definately try what you suggested.

Anyone else?

I personally wouldn't add music. It doesn't need it. The minute you add music, people forget what to appreciate about YOUR work. In other words, I was kept in suspense by the silence, the way you told your story. If there had been music, it would have become the driving force.

Besides, creepy music in scary movies is a crutch that has become all too cliche. You pulled off a very good short as is. I do agree though that there are some cuts you need to make for the sake of pacing.

Great work. Are you going to NYU? If so, see you there.

Would you agree with braininabox that the last 2 minutes could use cutting? Anywhere else?


ps (your view on the music is the same one I held when I made the film. It's also why I didn't put in the loud "jump noises" whenever I wanted the audience to jump. Too cheap.)

Uh, well yea. I think you could end it with the shot of the flashlight or against the black, as long as you pace it a little faster.

The only shot I had a major problem with length wise is the first. The car is parked absurdly too long before the cell phone chat.

Other than that, the only other thing I'd say is maybe fool around with some color correction, and if you are dedicated, do a lot of foley to replace the par level audio you have. Accentuate things that exist, like you were talking about. Make the things you already have in the film stand out. For example, thing about recording a separate audio track for the character's breathing, and use the fluctations to drive the pacing.

It's good. You have some really good ideas in this film. Directing suspense is not my personal cup of tea, but you seem to have a knack for it. Good luck.

And you didn't answer my question. Are you going to NYU or USC? I think I remember reading that you got in to both.

Oh, one more thing. I do not like the effects you used to imply the "creatures" point of view. Use the same footage, and... perhaps the same sounds, but the solarize, or the whatever filter you used... I wouldn't personally keep it. But that's up to you, of course.

First, I'll be going to USC.


As for the creature effects...the first shot that utilizes them was actually a blooper - you can clearly see behind the guy that there is light back there, but in the shot from the creature POV, there isn't any light around it. I added in the effect (I also wanted to emphasize that this was something...not human) to make the mistake less obvious. I did kind of get lazy, though, and really just applied a single simple filter in FCP and tweak the levels a bit.

As for the audio...that's actually where I'm currently worst in my FCS abilities. I did some simple emphasizing, but haven't done any foley work before. I'll definately, though, be giving the audio another pass through, at the least.

Gotta keep it on the list...


Seriously, thanks to braininabox and tomorrowsNIGHT for giving it a look. I'd love to hear the opinions of all of you out there.

I personally love getting some sound effects from "The Freesound Project". They have plenty of already recorded foley that you can search and usually you can find things perfect for your needs. It's free, and easy.

As for the creature thing again, I think if you did take away the "creature effects", the film as a whole could be interpreted with much more flexibility. When the audience has the concept of a "creature", you have a horror film. If it was ambigious as to what the sounds and things happened because of (another person in the building, the kid's imagination, or the actual creature), I just personally feel it adds to the suspense.

But then again, this type of filmmaking isn't my forte, so whatever you choose-

Good luck.

Great little flick you have there! Good suspense... I like the lack of music as well. Good luck with this one!

=Rev Greg=
www.eeriehorrorfest.com

I thought your short film was great!
I just finished it and I really enjoyed it.
The only thing I didn't like, as others said before, was the creature's POV effect. I think it was a bit cheesy. It would be better without it, IMO.
Also the fact that there is no music is PERFECT! That's probably why I liked it so much. Even though sometimes music is needed, alot of times it can mess up a scene and it makes it cheesy. It depends if you're going for a cheap, mainstream, "BOO!" type of horror, or a creepy, stick-with-you-long-after-you-watch-it horror (which is what I'd consider this to be).

I made a very short film which also has no music (only a narration) that you might enjoy. I just posted a topic about it on these forums, or you can check it out on my YouTube account where I commented from.

But yeah all in all, great job! I'll be looking forward to more stuff from you!


PS. It seems like maybe you're a fan of M. Night Shyamalan. This short reminded me of Signs very much, the scene in the basement. Night is my favorite director, so the fact that it reminded me of Signs is good. ;]

Signs was a huge influence on this short, as the flashlight scene proves. I loved Signs.

I agree with everyone about the POV shots, or at least the first one. I like the second one, because its more subtle and creepy (all my friends always say the part was very tense). I'm currently re-editing the short, taking off the last two minutes, doing some basic color correcting, and doing one or two basic pick-ups. When I finish I'll make sure to post.

And again, thanks you all for the comments!

Ok, so I've been busy.

I've gone through and color-corrected most of the film. I've upped the saturation slightly, and any indoor scene with a good amount of light has been given a yellowish-tint (it looks a lot like the tint in the shot where he is scrubbing the bathroom floor). I feel that this particular color really gives the indoor shots a slightly dirty and uneasy tone.

I also just (read:last night) re-shot the scene where he gets out of the car, as it was far too dark to work and didn't match the shot where the car actually pulls up. I also re-shot the end, so that now when the flashlight drops, the creature's hand comes in, and then the film cuts to the credits. I haven't edited everything in yet, so I may not even use the pick-ups, but already just with the re-edit and color correcting the short is much better.