Hey this is kind of a personal post. i suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, and one thing that drives me CRAZY is film festivals. ONLY when my films are in it. Sitting there and watching my own film and then (the worst part) waiting for the winner to be announced and then having to go up onstage...it's all a terrible experience for me. It's getting to the point where i almost faint, and sometimes vomit. i love filmmaking and this GAD only developed within the past two years. I've been going to therapy and my shrink wants me to get advice from people who are comfortable and or nervous doing it. So if anyone here has any advice for me, i'd really appreciate it. i used to LOVE this stuff. absolutely live for it. the person i've become isn't me, and it's affecting my love of my art.

Have you ever watched one of those 5 minute long Best Actress speeches as they weep and sob and thank everyone from the great lord above us to the guy who installed the DVD player into their Hybrid? It is just as sickening.

My guess is that you're just too worked up about winning or loosing (although I'm guessing here). If that is the problem just ease up and tell yourself that the film you've made is the best it can be for you, and no prize can change that, which is the most important thing. And if the problem is the nerves of winning, maybe you should let your lead actor or producer accept awards for you, stay home instead and start on that next screenplay. You shouldn't be too worried about it, as long as you are doing good in the writing, filming and editing stages, it should do absolutely nothing to deter your love for the art. Winning awards, acceptance speeches, what makes that "art" anyways?

^^^^^
Very well said.

A whole lot of people who deserve the award have to be narrowed down to one. Just remember that.

I hate watching my own movies in front of large groups. When I have to, though, I just tell myself that you're always going to be your own worst critic. Most of the minor details that are causing you to stress are going right over most people's heads as they concentrate on the story, etc. If you were good enough to get into the film festival, the award is just gravy from there. Have fun.

Ohhh... I love it.

You can read an audience so well. It's like a hive mind. You can FEEL them watching the movie. It's the best feedback ever. Just watching your movie with an audience. You instantly know what works and what doesn't.

I love it as well, only when I'm acting in a film does it make me some what nervous.

I know what you mean, TD, but I'm too paranoid about the audience hating it to enjoy the experience. It doesn't help that I've acted in almost all of my own films in at least a small role.

haha. you must be possessed by demons. There's no reason to give a **** at all who wins the festival. Its great enough you get to screen something at all! Its all about being there with fellow artists. You can really get to know them cause God knows they wont tell you anything through their film. I plan to go through some festivals this summer. Make a whole road trip out of it. I wanna boo my own movie.

The best thing to do is have a sense of humor about it. i get really nervous too when screening my movie in front of hundreds of people, but I get even more nervous about it when it's like 5. Just be glad you're in the audience, you aren't under a spotlight- people are watching the movies and characters, not you.

Best thing to do is sit with whoever worked the most on the film with you- you're bound to laugh at the minor mistakes or recall the horrible times you might have had filming a scene, etc. It'll make the hard parts go by faster.

As far as speaking in front of a large audience, I kind of have a sense of humor about that too. I usually just joke or put myself down or something- there's no use talking about the content of your film. Just thank some people who deserve it, and thank the people for watching it. You don't need to explain anything.