So I was browsing the site earlier, and I noticed that my film recieved a new review, which is nice since I haven't recieved one in some time. I go to check it out, and wouldn't you know it, renowned author Joseph "joe" Conrad of Heart of Darkness fame left me a review!

Strange, huh? Here's what he had to say:

Submitted on: 2006-01-22

boring, amateruish, and uninteresting.

- joe conrad

Huh. Well, I guess that I imagined such an accomplished author like Mr. Conrad would be a bit more elablorate, let alone know how to spell or know the basic rules of punctuation. But the guy's been dead since 1924, so I guess I should cut him some slack.

Still, I guess it wouldn't be too much to expect someone to be a little more elaborate really, even if they did write Nostromo and The Rover. Maybe he's just mad at me because I used Sparknotes for one of his books back in highschool.

I guess what I'm trying to say to everyone's favorite Polish/British author is that I really don't mind bad reviews at all. Well written negative reveiws tell filmmakers like myself what didn't work and the result of their problems, and thereby help me learn and grow in my skill. But I think it's a general consensus amongst the community of StudentFilms.com that terribly short, unexplained reviews with no real thought put into them tends to not only drive aspiring filmmakers up the wall, but also tends to comprimise the intelligence of the critic as well when they don't address what bothers them in such a juvenile fashion.

I don't know, that's just my personal opinion.

Do you think you're being witty? Because you're really not.

A little bitter, are we?

His punctuation seemed fine to me.

Anyway, what's your complaint? The review is too short? You can't expect everyone to spend a huge amount of time writing an essay about your work.

My complaint is that StudentFilms.com to me is a place for people to learn from one another and to see what does and doesn't work with their growing craft, and that reviews like these don't help anyone in any way, and that they especially hinder what StudentFilms.com is all about. I'm not asking for a large essay to come out of one guy's thoughts, I'm just asking for some simple clarity as to why he thought the way he did.

My complaint isn't a new one, I'll admit. There are several very dated threads that say the same thing essentially. This isn't a personal fight that I'm trying to win here, either: I spent a good amount of time on the Best Reviewed list, and (more importantly) I made something that I'm proud of. I have no reason to complain about one guy not liking my work at all. I just feel like this is an issue that, while already addressed, has had very little action taken to it. People need to be more vocal and elaborate on why they did or did not enjoy something they saw on this website. That way we all learn more, and everybody wins.

I know this will hardly change anything (if at all), but I wanted to at least put in my two cents about this whole ordeal.

I don't know. It seems to me like you want 'clarity' in an objective sense, which is never going to happen. Maybe that one-liner is the only way he could express his feeling about it. Expecting someone to defend, or even elaborate upon, their opinion is generally a waste of time.

If he thought it was amateurish and boring, and you think it isn't, I don't see what the problem is.

I have to agree with Evan, it's the nature of the business.

A while back I actually was dumb enough to think I was right in complaining to Chris about one commment that said something along the same lines, like "Boring, unoriginal and too long for a trailer." (about Ace Ramano). If you look at the reviews it's buried in there somewhere.

But after careful reading of a lot of reviews, and looking into who had posted what, I realized that a lot of the times, the people who posted bashing reviews were actually fellow filmmakers who felt threatened by that person's work. They were actually posting bad reviews because they didn't like that the film was so good.

And besides, if someone doesn't like your film, is that a surprise, really? You know there's going to be somebody who doesn't like your work, just because it's not their cup of tea. Not everyone liked FDR's New Deal in the 30's, but that helped bring us out of a depression. Besides, anyone who doesn't like Ace Ramano is getting a backhand in the face from a leather-jacketed fellow anyway.

quote:

Originally posted by funkbomb:
But after careful reading of a lot of reviews, and looking into who had posted what, I realized that a lot of the times, the people who posted bashing reviews were actually fellow filmmakers who felt threatened by that person's work. They were actually posting bad reviews because they didn't like that the film was so good.

That's a truly amazing comment. So when I was called an "unamerican idiot" in a review of my anti-war short the reviewer actually meant. "I'm jealous"

Phew and I just thought I sucked. Sweet.

Look, if, as a moderator, I had the authority to delete reviews which meet the following criteria, I would. This is my personal, and very subjective opinion:

A review which says "while this was well made, i thought it was really boring" and then proceeds to assign 1 star in every category, apparently forgetting that "well-made" covers most of them, and "boring" covers only a few.

A review that says "you suck dude" or "your film is crap" or "i could do better" or any bashing or EVEN negative review without explanation. Yes a review of "totally sweet man!" is not very helpful, but at least it doesn't make the filmmaker very mad. A negative review with no explanation is an abuse of the system in my opinion.

quote:

Phew and I just thought I sucked. Sweet.

You do suck, REDking. Just not as much as you thought. j/k

I agree with TD, that if you can't review a film thoroughly or at least with some details, don't bother reviewing it at all.

quote:

I agree with TD, that if you can't review a film thoroughly or at least with some details, don't bother reviewing it at all.

That's what I'm saying.

Well, in a long, drawn out, unfunny, sarcastic sense that is.

Maybe the person just thought it was boring, and didn't know exactly why. Maybe that's something the filmmaker should think about, as to why a person may find his story boring.
Same goes for amatuerish and uninteresting.
However, if someone goes around giving a one in every category, then they probably haven't given a fair assessment to all the elements.

quote:

I realized that a lot of the times, the people who posted bashing reviews were actually fellow filmmakers who felt threatened by that person's work. They were actually posting bad reviews because they didn't like that the film was so good.

Interested to know how you came up with that conclusion. Oh well, whatever makes you feel better I guess.

And Sam, it is possible there is more than ONE Joe Conrad in the world. The guy who reviewed your film was probably too ignorant to even know who he was.

quote:

And Sam, it is possible there is more than ONE Joe Conrad in the world. The guy who reviewed your film was probably too ignorant to even know who he was.

Heh, I know. I've just seen people use obviously fake names on this site before, and this person's name reminded me of that. Even if it isn't and it's purely coincidence, it's still funny to me to think of zombie-Conrad checking out my doc.

I don't see what you people are complaining about, hateful and bashing reviews (espiecially ones that get personal) are far superior than much more interesting than positive ones. ****, I find that most of the hateful review doa much better job at revealing the short comings of our work. I prefer the hateful and bashing reviews (although this comes quite conveniently to me of course) and I even use them on my website and on posters for my films. Here are some of my favorites:

"I can see why you put it in the horror genre. Because this was really horrible."

- Frank Baunner

"Couldnt watch it for more of then a minute it was that bad..."

- Al M

"I thought that my reveiw was actully quit generous. I think a four year old could have done this in less than a day."

- Filmmaker#1 H1 Canon

"This was almost as good as Gigli"

- Stan man

"Film might not be for you man. Dont feel down, take up knitting or something. Least you arnt as bad as Uwe Boll."

- Bob Gullen

"Uh, this is the same guy who makes monstrously bloated shorts shot on cheap video cameras with awful sound and lighting, flat, cliche dialogue, and an aesthetic that emphasizes poor quality, right? Artistic expression is clearly part the goal of any legitimate cinema, but using the claimed pursuit of it as an excuse for shoddy craftsmanship is pathetic."

- Evan Kubota

Now tell me, is that not more entertaining than some "positive" or "contructive" criticism? I think so. Everything my films apparently lack in entertainment I think they make up for in those reviews alone to me at least.

Sam, you're not alone. Joe Conrad posted a very unkind review about my film, 'Searching For Glasses Richards', yesterday. This greatly bothered me. One's across the board? How could anyone think so poorly about my film? MY Film!!! But, hey, I thought, I guess I just have to deal with it, since who I am I to pound my fist on the table when things don't go as I wish? Still, one star for acting? One for screenplay? I know my films got its faults, but to me that just seemed like an embittered individual with some sort of personal agenda. But then I realized that much of the 'Best Reviewed' list had been altered. Where did all the little guys with only a few small reviews go? Well, they've all been reviewed by one Mr. Joe Conrad. Your film, Uncle Donny's Storybook, Dhyas (Longing), Oh Mandy, I think some others. Anyway, just want to let you know you're not alone

Reeaaaalllllyyy??

*crushes brick with bare hands*

HDK, did Evan really say that to you? Dang...wow. I always thought of him as the type to leave more helpful reviews than that. Well, at least you have the right mindset...I think. And at least he was honest enough to attribute his name to that comment.

And as to how I came to that conclusion, just read a lot of the reviews on this site and write down who says what. I can't remember who sticks out in my mind, but a few definately played some interesting games of favorites...

quote:

Originally posted by funkbomb:
[QUOTE]
You do suck, REDking. Just not as much as you thought. j/k

Or are you just not as jealous as you thought? Huh? Now I'm confused.

Anyway here's my favorite review of that Studentfilmmaker Doc I did:

"Thank you. We need those little kicks in the ass every once in a while to remind us to keep kicking ourselves. This documentary was inspiring."

Great right, well the reviewer continued on to give each category one star completely F%cking up my average. Oh well the words were better than stars anyway.

Don't get all butt hurt, 80% of the world is retarded, stuck up or Republican.

So F*ck em.


Hey my movie must be great there's a giant star next to it!

What is everyone's opinion when regarding their own work? What do people honestly expect? I check this site every once in a while and occasionally see topics along the lines of "Why won't anyone review my film?", where filmmakers are aggravated, mad, and hurt that no one bothered to review their films.

In contrast, you have topics like this one where filmmakers are outraged at reviews that don't put their film in a favorable light. A review is a review, whether it's well thought out or hopelessly inept. As filmmakers, we put our work out there for the viewing public to critique. You will never, EVER, make a movie that is universally loved. It's impossible. Likewise, you will never soley receive well thought out, contructive criticism or praise. Not only does it take time, effort and thought to write a well-informed review, but your film has to strike a nerve within the reviewer, whether it is love or hate, in order for them to review your film in the first place.

Censoring reviews, in my honest opinion, would not be a good idea at all. Unless it is a personal attack against the filmmaker himself for personal reasons, any review should be left alone. If you have ever bothered to read a couple reviews on this site, you know before submitting a film that there is a likely chance of it getting bashed without any thought behind it. This is a student website, meaning students and fellow young filmmakers are the one's who will be critiquing your work, not critics from magazines or newspapers, who get paid to write lengthy, informative reviews.

I don't post in the forums much, but this topic comes up frequently on this site and I had to throw my opinion in there. Reviews should not be censored except in extremely rare occasions.

You want feedback, you get feedback. Don't be picky about what type of feedback it is.

quote:

Artistic expression is clearly part the goal of any legitimate cinema, but using the claimed pursuit of it as an excuse for shoddy craftsmanship is pathetic."

Isn't that correct? I forget exactly what the short in question was, but I remember the quality being pretty poor. If it's bad enough to impede artistic expression, a little more craftsmanship is in order...