I found this review for my film "Lysistrata: Judgment Day." It was accompanied by 1 star ratings. Afterwards I will present my retort.
http://www.studentfilms.com/film/get.do?id=550

"Upon watching this film, it has finally become clear that there is no god. With music ripped off from the terminator, some of the worst editing I've ever seen, and a title that cannot be deciphered by the english language it is now time for this film to be recognised as the number one killer of brain cells. Making a close second is binge drinking and behind that the television show, Friends. I find that once you get past the terrible concept of this film, and the terrible cinematography, you reach the unbareably terrible acting. Most will agree that being shot in the foot would be slightly more entertaining than this film. It's alright to make terrible movies for your own pleasure, but releasing it upon us is just an entirely new height of evil, the rational behind making this movie is an enigma even science can't explain. I'm probably over reacting to how bad this movie is, maybe my standards are just so high that I expect too much. But when it comes right down to it, this ameture product started off with potential, but was poisoned by an awful script, terrible acting, and horrendously bad title.

- Robert Saget"

First of all, if you're going to post a scathing review such the one above, at least be man enough to put your own name to it. Unless of course, this is really Bob Saget, in which case I hope to see you on Celebrity Boxing soon.
This film was made as a high school English project. It was adapted from the Greek play Lysistrata we were studying at the time. So the title was a necessary evil.

The acting may not be great, but then again, few films on this site have professional actors.
I may have ripped off some music, but my budget ($0) didn't allow for a composer.

As far as the editing, I've had other reviewers comment that I did a very good job in that area.
As for the killing of brain cells, I don't think my film had much to destroy in your case.

You make the comment that I shouldn't release my film to the world. Well, I thought the whole purpose of Studentfilms.com was to show your non-professional work, warts and all, to an audience. To receive constructive criticism (emphasize constructive) and use that to improve as a filmmaker. I won't sit here and say my film is perfect, that it is above criticism, cause its not. In all honesty, it's not that good. It's something I made in high school for fun and for a grade. However, it's not the worst short film of all time, either.

Actually, when I read your review, I laughed. Your analogys are most entertaining. Really, though, who are you trying to impress? I guess I'll probably give you a thrill by actually responding.

Personally, I think maybe the review system needs reworked. I think if people were forced to be registered in some way, it would reduce the number of simply bashing reviews that serve no constructive purpose. Or possibly the moderators should be more stringent in what they allow. Or maybe I'm completely off my kilter.

Does anyone agree with me? Have any comments?

I agree that the review system should be changed to where only registered users can review. However, with the way it is now, many movies are going to get reviews like that, many of them just trying to flame for the hell of it. But for every bad review, assuming that you have made a good short, you will most likely have another two good reviews to make up for it.

Boy, oh boy...if I had a nickel for every stupid-ass review I've read on this site like this one...well, you know the rest. They're STUDENT FILMS, you morons! What, are you guys seriously expecting Federico Fellini quality here? If you have no words of advice or encouragement to offer a student filmmaker, only ridiculously petty, completley unconstructive criticism, then don't even bother writing a goddamn review.

*Seconds above post*

It's just dissappointing to spend money to put a film on the site, to get only 7 reviews and have two of those just flaming me.
But I would like to add that I really appreciate those few people who write thoughtful, constructive reviews.

Yes, that review is pointless and self-indulging, and it makes the reviewer look far stupider than it makes your film look bad, but I also think it's important not to censor these types of reviews. These reviews are the other extreme to the "hi josh, this is your mom (or lead actor/best friend). you're going to make a wonderful filmmaker some day and I'll give you all 5s" review. They're both pointless in terms of helpful criticism, but they are also real, honest ways people react to films. If this site is for imperfect student films to be reviewed, let it also be about imperfect reviewers with real feelings about a film/maker. One way you can measure success in filmmaking is to see how extreme people react to your film--either positive or negative. By that measure for Mr Saget, you're film was a success.

my .02 Euros worth
joren

I dont wanna bring you down, but you really could have done a hell of a lot better than what i saw (at least i hope you can). I say this a lot, but know the basics about filmmaking. First of all, the line! Dont cross teh line of action!!! If you dont know what that is, get a book or take a class. I recommend this book for starters. I got it a couple years ago when i first started out and its a great starting manuel. These are among the important things before you dive in with a camera.

Of course that guy's review wasnt the nicest. I mean i wouldnt like to get something liek that, but you have to learn to take harsh critism. It goes along with the trade. He wasnt totally wrong, but he/she could have said it a much better way. But what do i know, who the hell am i.

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Alex Conway
Mind-Trip Films

#1.. Excellent Icon Alex C.... love it... Almost as good as mine.

#2 I hate these losers that come on here and trash such movies without any good reason. I think the system should be changed that you resgistered user name MUST show up.

#3 "few films on this site have professional actors. "

Sweet love had professional actors..

Drew, no way. I never noticed this, but, you live in old bridge?! I live in Hunterdon. We live something like 30 mintues away from eachother.

Small world, eh.

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Alex Conway
Mind-Trip Films

dude, u have to get used to that

every few months a topic like this springs up.

The bottom line is (with few exceptions): if you give a film on this site all 1's, then you're a jerk. However, as a filmmmaker, you gotta learn to take it. My films get all 1's all the time. But I also get genuine reviews from people that, even if they didn't like it, i value the opinions of because they told me in detail how to make it better. Deal with it, take the good with the bad, and keep filming.

--alan

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http://www.alandenton.com
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Obviously, I can deal with it. My point is that it wouldn't take vast changes to the site to eliminate the problem all together. I don't mind criticism, I just think that when people can post things anonymously, they tend to say things they'd never say if it could be tracked back to them. Why just say "deal with it" when the problem can be solved relatively simply?

nope that would be close to censnorship imho.

Many here are no professional reviewers. If a review is bad, ignore it, but deleting it would be plain wrong.

But isn't that the great benefit of being anonymous? That you can be more truthful if you don't feel the pressure of being known as the "bad guy" who says the truth.

If you have an honest criticism that you hold back because you didn't want to hurt someone's feelings then there might as well be no feeback at all.

Or, you know, you could stop being such a pussy and leave your e-mail on a bad review anyway. I faced up, the one bad review I gave I left my e-mail for the author to respond, and he did, and we e-mailed each other back and forth calling each other morons. You know we should be allowed to submit our work anonimously, you know, if we're not too happy with it, but still want feed back, and so we can't be accused of making a horrible product. Think about it, it's got to work both ways. That reviewer was a pussy flat out, and I'm so filled with hate right now that I feel that person should just die. Quick or slowly, it doesn't matter, just as long as he never pollutes another filmmaker's review box. Stupid f'n pussy that guy was. Jesus.

-Elliott

I think that bagging a film without anything constructive to say and not even posting your email address so the filmmaker has a chance to reply and justify his decisions mean you are a cowardly dickwank.

However I am all for free speech and criticism. Just not dickheads. So don't moderate criticism. But don't listen to people that obviously have no respect for the filmmaking process or even films.

I like making films.

What it comes down to is this. You can not restrict the terms under which someone will review your work in a public forum. Now if the adminsitrators of the site wish to only allow registered users to post, that's their perogative.

But if I choose to review your movie anonymously, and with no contstructive criticism, somewhere else you don't really have the right to do anything but complain.

But no matter how bad it is, if you take it as personally as MeGrimlock you're going to have problems down the road. You have to take reviews, no matter how negative or worthless, in stride. Take what you can from them to improve and move on.

I dunno, I'm just not seeing any pros to allowing anonymous non-constructive posts. I mean there's not much to do but complain and hope the complaints are heard, heeded, and rectified. There is no reason to let any Joe Schmoe come to this site and blatantly tear away at someone's work. Allowing only registered users to review movies would keep away a lot of the obnoxious punks, but also, even the filmmaker's friends who are there to just jack up the score (another complaint others have.) Don't you have to be a registered member to come on to this board and speak your thoughts? What makes the review system different? There will still be the people who might sign up just to bash one movie, but that person will now be marked. I doubt someone would bother with registering multiple accounts to, in a way, keep his anoninimity. I don't know, it's a simple concept, it should be standard practice and no ninny should bother posting a review if they can't back up their own retarded, yes retarded, opinion. That, and it sucks that there are even such people that make this an issue.
About complaining elsewhere, yeah sure, you're right about that, but the OP was about it happening here. If the review is made somewhere else it really doesn't have much of a leg to stand on. If you put down a movie on your own site you'd be unwise not to link to it, because otherwise you're talking about something no one has any idea about. And if you do link it, good, more publicity.

-Elliott

dude, what about some tolerance here> some people do not like anynomous posters, some like them (like I do, however, I always put my name on my posts))

both sides should be aloud to exist on this site

I don't think people should be censored for bashing a film, if that is really what the person thinks. However, I do think only registered users should be allowed to post reviews.

I'm the editor of my college newspaper, and our policy is that we don't publish anonymous letters to the editor, no matter what the letter contains, good or bad. This is the policy of almost all major newspapers.

If someone has an opinion, but the person isn't willing to put his or her name to it, then that opinion isn't worth the paper it's printed on.

If you have something to say and you truly believe what you say and you can back up that opinion, then there's no reason you wouldn't put your name to it.

That's the way the real world works. If your going to put out criticism of another person's work, be prepared to take some criticism of your own.