Is it me or are there filmmakers out there who abuse this system?

Looking over Toast Dusters, a film that ranks low in my opinion on this site, I found that there were several reviews made, all with 5 stars in every category, and possibly reviewed by the filmmaker himself.



Does this system not allow the good and even great films on the site to go unnoticed?

You decide!Toast Dusters Reviews

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Alejandro Lalinde
grey.street.films

"A film is - or should be - more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what's behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later."
-Stanley Kubrick (1928-1999)

thatd be funny if the director and cast gave a lot of those reviews........lame assed hippies

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TacoWagonProductions
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"True artists don't do homages, they steal."  - Quentin Tarantino

Good call.

I was beginning to believe I was the only person who noticed.

I feel, although the theory behind hippie filmmakers reviewing their films does seem extremely plausible, I also feel it's a matter of that group of people who can go "Bullit with McQueen is an excellent movie" and they'll jabber on and on about it and probably give it five stars in every damn category because they like the car, or the chicks, or whatever...but they'll turn around and go "Schindler's List"...excellent! Five stars, same **** again, and on and on and on. They're not really reviewing, just getting excited like all those teenyboppers who thought "Pirates" was "excellent" because they think Depp is hot. That's who you're dealing with. All in all, I still hate hippies. And that Toast guy probably posted a few of those reviews himself.

I don't understand. Toast Dusters was flippin' AMAZING. I mean, seriously, that is THE BEST comedy on the website, with obvious painstaking effort, effects, and detail. Did you even SEE that one trucking shot where they go down the block of the street and there's like 20 extras all doing their things in the background and it perfectly synchs up to that pre-recorded music with absolutely no cut-aways? The running Skittles joke, the costumes, the Power Rangers bit.... Oh man, just talking about it makes me want to give it all 5's again.

Toast Dusters rules. End of story.

--ALan

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http://www.alandenton.com
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I think Alan Denton secretely MADE Toast Dusters under an alias name because he KNEW that when the film came successfull flocks of hot chicks, and guys, would come to him and want sex.....

....Alan, not being able to take control over situations like that, was forced to use a different name when doing Toast Dusters.

It's so clear....why didn't we realize this earlier?



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TacoWagonProductions
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"True artists don't do homages, they steal."  - Quentin Tarantino

say it ain't so. Alan.

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Alejandro Lalinde
grey.street.films

"A film is - or should be - more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what's behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later."
-Stanley Kubrick (1928-1999)

i can't think of a single film ive ever seen (kubrick and all) that i would give a perfect five stars in a review. i would go as far as 4.999999 stars but the thought of a perfect film is inconcievable. its like in sports when one person gets a perfect 10 in the olympics. its amazing the first time, but then the bar is lowered and standards go down just to get more 10's. i would hate to see that happen on this site.

na I totally agree, toast thingy is teh ****, I loved that film

I think we should install a new system of film judgement on this site. We should compare the film in quality to the reviews of 'Gigli', if the reviews apply to both Gigli and the film being reviewed, then the film deserves at least a 1.5 rating. For example: The Reviews of Gigli

 "Never for a second do you believe in the reality of any of these characters."
-- Glenn Whipp, LOS ANGELES DAILY NEWS

 "I had a brief thought that the mundane inanity might be some Samuel Beckett-style commentary on the existential void. Then I realized that watching the movie put me closer to the existential void than they ever were."
-- Nell Minow, MOVIE MOM

  "It's worth knowing how to pronounce Gigli because it will enter the vocabulary as a word meaning 'massive box-office flop; an embarrassment caused by Hollywood's inability to say no to powerful creative types. See also: Ishtar.'"
-- Jeffrey Westhoff, NORTHWEST HERALD (CRYSTAL LAKE, IL)

"Despite all the reshoots, rewrites, re-edits and other changes, this is one awful movie."
-- Jeff Vice, DESERET NEWS, SALT LAKE CITY

"Gigli is precisely as awful as everyone's been saying, and it's a sad state of affairs when a 2+ hour parade of self-adoration can pass for an actual movie."
-- Scott Weinberg, EFILMCRITIC.COM

 "[Brest's] dialogue is a soup of cliches, profanities and sex talk most of us heard in high school."
-- Lawrence Toppman, CHARLOTTE OBSERVER

  "If you’re going to skip one film this year – make it “Gigli.”"
-- Tony Toscano, TALKING PICTURES

 "Once you get past the staggering question of who gave this thing the green light, Gigli actually turns into a uniquely bad movie that yields real (albeit unintentional) laughter."
-- Chris Vognar, DALLAS MORNING NEWS

 "Shapeless and without a shred of originality, the movie mimics and copies pieces of a number of old movies, all superior in every way."
-- Rex Reed, NEW YORK OBSERVER

"What emerges is desperate -- and occasionally offensive -- salaciousness merged with corny, predictable jokes."
-- Claudia Puig, USA TODAY

  "It is an exquisitely bad movie: One to be savoured, marvelled over, shared with friends and generally appreciated in a state of awestruck wonder. Gourmet fromage."
-- Geoff Pevere, TORONTO STAR

  "A pissing match between sexually incompatible people which had the audience muttering 'This is absurd.'"
-- Chuck Schwartz, CRANKY CRITIC®

  "Imagine a movie made up entirely of Deleted Scenes...Not since Travolta and Tomlin in 1978’s Moment By Moment has a love scene been this embarrassing or uncomfortable."
-- Collin Souter, EFILMCRITIC.COM
 
"A grade-A misfire, fantastically uninvolving, a cinematic train wreck of slacked-jawed, distinguished proportions. Read on for more fun..."
-- Brent Simon, ENTERTAINMENT TODAY

Myabe I'll just give you a crapload of bad reviews so you can do your own comparisons. How about that? When you buy a ticket for Gigli, you cant help but laugh and smile in disgust.

later comrades..

-spenser

'Viva la revolucion'.

Those are some pretty good reviews.

If you don't look I'll force you to _=_

quote:

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i would go as far as 4.999999 stars but the thought of a perfect film is inconcievable.

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Hmm. I had a teacher like you once. He contested that a "perfect research paper" does not exist and would only give grades as high as a 95. That pissed all of us off. The lesson learned was, yes, sure, a perfect paper doesn't exist. But if that's so, then don't have a grading system that includes a score for perfection. It's unattainable, so don't even bother having the option of that score. Instead, just scale everything up a bit. Make 95's in his world (since they are the highest scores possible for mortals) equal to 100's in everybody else's world. Translation: "give us a f***ing break!"

The end.

--ALan

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http://www.alandenton.com
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I hear you Alan - grades and "staring" systems.

It's obvious that in an online poll anyone can create fake identities and post reviews. It happened a lot on TS.com.

As far as Toast Dusters (or whatever) being the funniest movies on here, I disagree. It's one of the 7-900 most horrible movies though.

Who cares about endless arrays of editing software magics - gag me.

I watched it about 3 times all the way through to see if I could find something about it I liked and came to this conclusion:

It contains nothing of iterest to me.

- C. Davis
YELLOW HAMMER PRODUCTIONS

Really, I found the "He Lives!...Oh crap." line and the recurring candy gag charming.